Make Being a Stay at Home Mother an Art

I've been a stay at home housewife and mother for thirty years, and I love it. Although I did work outside our home before we had children, I didn't like it, and have never had any desire to be out in the work force. Home is my haven, everything I want is here within these four walls.

There was a time though, when I was very lazy. I did as little housework as possible. I spent my days watching soap operas. I always meant to clean, in fact, I had a friend who thought I should put a doily and a pot of flowers on my vacuum cleaner, because it was forever sitting in my living room. I just never seemed to get around to actually using it.

I was embarrassed when someone stopped by unannounced and saw unfolded clothes on the couch, soiled diapers on the floor, and last night's dishes still in the sink.

Time went on, though, and I finally grew up. I was ashamed of my dirty house, ashamed that I stayed home all day and was too lazy to do what should have been my work. My husband had the whole brunt of earning the living so that I could stay home and care for the house and train our children. Was lying on the couch watching soap operas and reading all day part of my job description? Was it fair that he should have to work while I lay around?

And besides, living like that is an invitation for depression. Not doing anything you are proud of doesn't make for a happy life. It causes young mothers to begin to dream that there is something else out there, something that would make them happier, something that they are missing...

But there isn't. Making a house a home is a very fulfilling job. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of older women who stay home anymore to teach the art of homemaking to the younger women.

So what does being a stay at home wife and mother entail? Mostly, it's training the children, cleaning the house, shopping for and cooking the meals, and keeping everyone in clean clothes. Those are not hard jobs, we just need to get ourselves organized and get going. And that's going to mean we are going to have to have a schedule, and we are going to have to give up those things that distract us.

Our own family got rid of the TV many years ago, but the computer will easily take its place. I know it did for me for several years. I finally realized if I were going to make any headway doing what needed to be done to take care of my home and family, I needed to move the computer so that it wouldn't be so easily accessible to me. So it went upstairs into my bedroom. Since I have several small children, I can't spend my days up there, or chaos reigns downstairs.

But I write for Associated Content, I bank and shop online and have an email list that I've been on for more than ten years, so was if fair to give myself time to be on the computer? Yes, I thought so. I decided the baby's naptime would be my time to work on the computer. So I told my children, from two to four o'clock, mom would be busy. The younger children who don't nap can bring their toys and books upstairs while baby is sleeping and mom's working, but they cannot talk to me or make noise. If they do, then they are banished from the upstairs. They don't want that, so they comply and give mom her two hours, especially since they are allowed to be in the room with me as long as they abide by the rules.

If I wake up early, I use that quiet time before the children get up to work on the computer, too. But once they are up, I get off and get our day going.

I also learned that I needed a real daily schedule to get everything done. I decided mornings are the best time to do most of my work. An added bonus to that is it's soon out of the way, and the rest of the day is mine to do the things I enjoy.

Here is an example of my daily schedule. Since I have a large homeschooling family, it's very flexible, but I try to stick as closely as I can to it. It works so well for me:

Usually my two year old is the first one up. I get him dressed, and then make fruit smoothies in the blender. He and I drink these while I fry him some eggs or make a pot of homemade oatmeal. This little guy has a sensitivity to anything that is not natural (artificial colorings, flavorings, preservatives, and corn syrup) so I have to make everything from scratch - no processed cereals, granola bars or little packets of oatmeal at our house anymore. Since I also have to make our bread, I bought a bread maker and a grain mill. While my little boy is eating his breakfast, I grind three cups of wheat berries; add these and the rest of the ingredients to the bread machine and get it started kneading the dough for our bread that day. Then I get a load of laundry started. I've found if I do two to three loads of laundry every morning, I stay on top of this chore.

That done, I sometimes mix up a batch of cookies, although my thirteen year old daughter has just about completely taken over the baking. Usually by this time, the other children have woke up, and I get them all fed, then I start washing the morning dishes

Soon I take the clean clothes from the washer and hang them on the line outside, and get another load of clothes in the washing machine.

I make tea from our peppermint patch in the back yard. I take the dough from the bread machine, shape it into loaves, and after letting it rise again, I put it in the oven to bake. I call the children all into the living room and everyone works to get the downstairs cleaned up.

If it's during the school year, I get the older kids started on their work, and sit down with the younger ones. I don't allow our school time to last more than two hours a day. After all, I am not just a homeschooling mother; I have many other duties that are important, too. I make sure our school time is quality, and we make a lot of trips to libraries, book stores, museums and zoos. It works for us, we have just finished up our nineteenth year of homeschooling, and my oldest son starts his last year of law school and another son starts his first year at the University of Texas in Austin next month.

Soon the bread is done, the clothes and dishes are washed, the house is clean, the children are schooled, and the biggest part of my work day is over. And it's only lunch time!

I try not to waste the afternoons, though. I stick to my schedule of writing for two hours during naptime. The late afternoons, I try to sit down and crochet for my Etsy account. The children really like that time, when mom's hands are busy but her mind is not. Young and old alike will sit in the living room with me, and we talk. Talking to the children is so important, no matter how old they are.

Then animals must be fed, dinner eaten, baths taken and bedtime stories read. Falling asleep is usually not a problem for me!

I want to encourage young stay at home wives and mothers to take their lives seriously. Just because you don't have a paying job doesn't mean you don't have work to do. It isn't fair to your husband or your children if all you do is lay around all day. Get up, get busy and do a good job. Be a good steward of the money your husband earns. Be a good steward of the house you are blessed with keeping. And be a good steward of the children God has given you to raise up for Him.

Life will become more interesting and fulfilling if you take being a stay at home wife and mother seriously. It's the most important job a woman can do!