Make a Difference on Mother's Day

Do you know a mom whose child won't remember her on Mother's Day? Do you know a mom whose child is no longer living and can't remember her? If you do, she is one mom who could use some special love and attention. You might be the only one who gives her any recognition or comfort on a very difficult holiday like Mother's Day.

What could you do or say that would make any difference? Believe me--there are plenty of words you could speak and actions you could do that would matter. Here are a few of them.

Acknowledge Her Motherhood

When a mother loses a child or a child chooses to lose a mother, there is deep heartache in a mother's heart. The mother longs for her child, but she also longs to hear that she did a good job mothering the child. You could be the one to encourage her with words of that nature.

Honor Her By Remembering

Although she may not be your mother, she was or is somebody's mother. Remember her on Mother's Day with a special wish, a card, or a small gift, to at least acknowledge her motherhood.

Give Her Something to Talk About

The fact that someone acknowledges her on Mother's Day gives her bragging rights. She could brag to a somewhat thoughtless or often-absent child about receiving a wonderful gift on Mother's Day. Then the child would realize the error in not remembering. Maybe he or she would make things right and offer an apology or belated wish or gift.

Give Her Opportunity to Talk

A mother needs to talk about her child, and if that child has passed away, talking about him or her sometimes makes listeners uncomfortable. But it is a important for her to be able to express her memories. If you can plant yourself down and listen for a while, you will do an act of kindness beyond your ability to understand.

Furthermore, if she has a child who chooses not to stay in touch, there is anguish that she needs to express. Part of being able to live through an ordeal is being able to express emotions connected to it. If you are the one who opens a listening ear to her, know that you're making a difference in her life.

Carry the Message

You can be the person who carries a message to the child, if you know the location or address of the child. Let him or her know how it pains the mother to have no contact--especially on Mother's Day. Plant the seed to do something specific. Suggest a letter or card. You might even buy the card and stamp and address the envelope. All the son or daughter needs to do is write a few words and put it in the mailbox. Sometimes kids of any age are short on social graces, and they just need to have social graces modeled.

Later, after the mother receives the Mother's Day card or gift, you may need to help the mother remember to acknowledge the child's gift or letter in return Children model what they observe. To change social behavior--whether that of child or mother--behavior needs to be modeled differently. That's where you can make a difference.

As you remember your own mother or you're remembered as a mother this Mother's Day, be aware that some mothers may not be remembered. Their child/parent situation is one of heartache or grief. Maybe you're familiar with such a woman. You can make this Mother's Day a positive one for a mother who feels unappreciated or who must endure a day-long reminder of her loss. Be one bright spot in her difficult day. Make a difference by remembering her and honoring her motherhood.