Make Time for Teens

Remember the "Cleavers" of the 60's (Leave It To Beaver) and the "Cunninghams" of the 70's (Happy Days) with Mom at home and Dad the breadwinner; their family unity was easier to maintain and togetherness was a nightly focus in the same living room. But now in the "real world," we find both parents working and a schedule where family togetherness needs to be penciled in. Even the kids are overscheduled with extra-curricular activities.

Mealtime was a "must" in the past, where all meals were a sit-down situation full of questions on how the day went. Today, there are many families who never eat together. Mealtime can be a time of re-connection for families, especially for adolescents. It can be a great time to bond and have friendly conversation. If given the opportunity to spend a meal together, keep these points in mind.-Don't take calls during mealtime and let the answering machine take messages. You can return calls at a later time.
-Let each child spend time talking about themselves.
-Talk with your preteen or teen.Let them know you are interested in what they do each day.
-Talk to your children about your job and day. Listen to their thoughts and value their opinion.
-Make mealtime fun--no arguing!

With the demands of work obligations and extra-curricular activities for both adolescents and parents, it is becoming more difficult to spend mealtimes together. If this is a problem in your home, there are other ways to interact and keep connected. Your child will appreciate knowing that he/she is important enough for you to make time together a priority. Here are some ways to spend quality time:-Take a drive together--a great time to spark up a conversation and have fun.
-Go to a movie together. Take turns on whose movie to see.
-Plan a shopping trip - it's always been a fun thing to do.
-Kids love concerts and sporting events- visit one together.
-Take a hike, pack a lunch, and make the day an adventure.
-Rent movies and watch them together.
-Do you ever plan a "family night?" A time to play board games, cards, or just hang out to watch TV together?

Start building a relationship with your children early; they don't happen overnight. Kids may not know how to show their gratitude, however they won't forget the special times you spent together.

Making time with your preteen should be an important goal. Small changes in how you use your time can have a big impact on family unity. Other creative ways to spend family time are:-Make use of rituals. Maintain practices such as special birthday dinners, a holiday at the grandparents' house, or playing car games on long trips (like when they were young). Rituals help to create rewarding memories.
-Stay connected with your extended family. Visiting with relatives rekindles a sense of heritage and helps kids feel a sense of belonging.
-Take vacation time together. It's not the length of the vacation or even whether you leave your home; it's the fact that you spend relaxed time together.

Without quantity of time there cannot be quality time. There has to be "give and take" in order to find time to spend together. Ultimately preteens won't show their appreciation, as much now as we would like, but the memories of time spent together will remain with them for years to come.