Making Friends when Marrying into the Military

Many women don't realize that when they agree to marry a man in the military, they aren't just marrying their man, they are marring the entire military. Married life will be much different for a military couple than that of a non-military, or "civilian" couple. Many military spouses lose touch with most of their civilian friends after getting married because they discover that their lifestyles are so different once they become part of the military life.

Luckily, it's usually pretty easy to create your new social circle when part of the military organization. Most military families are pretty friendly. Of course that makes sense because they are in the exact same situation as you. They understand the importance of building fast friendships that last. They are far from their families and old friends, too.

If you live on base, it will be really easy to make new friends. You will have lots of neighbors, and usually at least half of them are friendly. We have met all of our neighbors. We consider most of them to be friends now.

There are also several social groups on most bases that you can participate in. There's on specifically for new military spouses. It's a great place to meet new people and learn about all of the opportunities that are available on your base. If you have children or are pregnant, there are groups for you and your children as well. Really, no matter what kind of stuff you are interested in, you can usually find some kind of group to meet with that likes the same things.

All of the aforementioned groups are available for people who live on and off base. They can be especially important for you if you live off base, though. Your neighbors might not as military friendly off base as you would have hoped. Some towns resent having the military base there and make it obvious to any new military families that move into their neighborhoods. It's very discouraging when this happens, but you learn pretty quickly that you have very strong to be a military spouse. It's much easier to make friends with people in the military, and their spouses, than to try to change someone else's mind.

Another good place to make new friends is at religious meetings. Most bases have a few churches/chapels, etc. They are a good place to meet like minded families. And if you can't find one that you like on base, you always check the surrounding towns. We go to church off base and have met many good friends, both in the military and civilian.

If you have children, another great place to meet people is playgrounds and playgroups. The other people there are all parents so you know you have something in common with them right away. It also gives your children a chance to meet other kids and make good friends right away. I take my son to an indoor playground on base and we both really like it. I get a chance to talk to other moms and my son is learning to socialize with other children his own age.

It doesn't really matter which way you choose to make friends, just be sure you find some, some way. Being married to the military, you will need friends many times. They are indispensable, especially when your spouse gets deployed.