Making My Own Thanksgiving Traditions is More Fun Than Visiting Family

Planning for Thanksgiving in mid-October may seem like a crazy idea, but I am a procrastinator, so starting earlier means I might have it done by the time people start showing up at my door.

A few years ago, my husband and I realized that because we live in a college town, many of our friends had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving Dinner. Some who lived relatively nearby might be able to go to see parents or friends, but many others, especially those who worked to pay for their college tuition, didn't have the time or money for the long trek to Grandma's house.

Now, to be fair, we do have family nearby. My mother-in-law always cooks up a feast for the holiday and we always go. But a few years back, she quit making turkey for Thanksgiving.

My father-in-law works for a factory that gives employees a turkey at Christmas and he didn't like having turkey twice in a month. The first year this happened. I was devastated. I love baked turkey.

So, our solution to deal with both problems is to have a late Thanksgiving Day dinner at our house. My in-laws eat by 2 p.m. and we can be home by 5 p.m. if we stay for after dinner conversation and dessert. That means people can start arriving at my house by 6 p.m, so everything has to be ready before I leave that morning. And, I am not a morning person.

But I think this will be our sixth year as hosts to this annual event and I have become a master at planning this one party a year. The key, I have found, is starting early and making people commit to what they are bringing.

Every year, I provide the turkey. When I was in college, a friend taught me to bake the turkey breast side down for a juicier turkey. I've been a confident turkey baker since. Slow-roast over night breast side down in a baking bag and always buy a turkey with the pop-up, "I'm-cooked-to-an-appropriate-temperature" gauge.

About three years ago, another friend showed us a recipe for cranberry and soy sauce gravy. That too has become a staple of our contribution. And, my husband breaks out his baker's hat once a year to make beer rolls - a yeast roll-like concoction of bisquick, sugar and Samuel Adams' Cherry Wheat ale.

Other than that, we demand that guests bring a dish and a bottle of wine to share after dinner. The suggestion is that people bring something that has always signified the holiday to them. My friend Dawn will always bring her family's jello concoction, called "pink stuff", no matter what color it might actually be. Brenna associates baking with the holidays so she is always good for a pie or home-baked bread.

Otherwise, the menu tends to vary a bit year to year as do the guests, but if no one else volunteers, I end up adding mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and stuffing to my to do list because they are an inherent part of the holiday. And, the stuffing always includes one box of Stove Top, because we have one friend whose family never had homemade stuffing. She insists Stove Top is the only stuffing.

We have never run out of food, though I have had years when i was disappointed with the shortage of leftovers for hot turkey sandwiches the day after Thanksgiving. And, we've added a few of our own traditions along the way.
I think the wine was first. Everyone is to bring a bottle of wine to share. It let's us experiment with new wines and sets a tone for the evening, festive, but without overindulging.

Next, came the games. Tradition now dictates that after dinner, we break out the board and card games, Trivial Pursuit or Civilization or even just gin rummy. The only rule in selecting a game is that the drinks have to be off the table. We've had too many decks of cards ruined by a spill. Sometimes, the games are relaxed; sometimes, competitive and sometimes, well, never to be played again.

One year there was this game called "Seven Deadly Sins" which is like a cross between Trivial Pursuit and Truth or Dare. It involved feeding people the nastiest combination of edible things you could come up with (for gluttony) and kissing people's belly buttons (for lust) and those are the more "family-friendly" options involved. The game was subsequently banned.

And, at some point, the ads will come out for the after-Turkey Day sales. (This is mostly a girl thing.) We will inspect the ads, comment on the prices, and then, invariably decide that we prefer the option of sleeping in to saving money.
This year, I'm hoping to institute the tradition of come back the next day and clean up after the party. I haven't quite got this one instituted yet, but I'm working on it.

In the meantime, I'm planning ahead. I'll send out the invitations/reminders on November 1 and start hassling people a week later so that I can develop a menu. Then, as soon as possible, depending on freezer availability, I'll buy a turkey that I think is much bigger than I need. That usually works out about right.

I'll spend the weekend before Thanksgiving spatting with my husband about cleaning the house to pre-party standards and the day before the party, I'll be chained to my kitchen, cooking up the feast.

The cost of throwing the dinner party is little pricey, but it means I'm too exhausted to shop on "Black Friday" so I figure it saves me money in the long run.