Making Peace with a Noisy Neighbor

Anyone who has ever lived in a condo or apartment has their own personal torture story about a noisy neighbor. For me, I had a rather large woman living above me in a condo and let's just say that she had a healthy and consistent appetite for sexual activity at three o'clock in the morning. Besides the springs on her mattress screaming to life, Mickey was a very vocal woman and she was insistent upon the entire building knowing just how pleasurable her nightly experiences were. For a passive person like myself, I cringed at the thought of confrontation. I justified the reasons in my head that this is a free world and it's not my place to tell a grown woman how to act. The result was a very miserable, sleepless period of about three months and I decided it was time to confront the woman that was making my life a living hell. If you're having an experience similar to this, whether it's loud music or constant yelling, then follow these same steps that I took. I found them to be successful and I didn't have a problem anymore.

Step One-Confronting the noisy neighbor.

I can guarantee you that you're going to get results. They just may not always be the results that you were hoping for. There are some instances where your neighbor is oblivious to the problems they're causing. Find an appropriate time to talk with them. Do not just ambush them in the parking lot and corner them like the crazy person you have become. Start by paying them a compliment and then tell them that they are causing a disturbance and you have had several sleepless nights due to their behavior. There are two types of people in this situation and they respond differently. The first person will extend an apology and will correct their behavior. They may even be embarrassed. If you get this type of person, then you are just about the luckiest person in the world.

The second type of person will become hostile and offended. If this is the case, keep the conversation to a minimum level. The last thing you need is for this to get out of hand and they start making more noise just to upset you further. The first time I approached the lady upstairs she came at me with a fork in her hand. Do not threaten them, at this point, with any type of legal action. End the conversation in a pleasant manner and see if you can get their home phone number. This is a mistake I made. I forgot to get her phone number, and every incident I resorted to throwing lotion bottles at the ceiling and tapping my broom. By getting their phone number, you can simply call when things escalate and ask them if they could quiet down. After several phone calls, they'll get the idea.

Step Two-Written complaint

If they are still making noise then you may have to resort to pen and paper. These types of formal threats tend to work. In your letter, tell them that they have not cooperated with your wishes and you are considering going to the landlord if the situation doesn't improve. I would also mention that you have letters ready to be sent off to the building maintenance department or the homeowner's association. Most homeowner's associations will send out two to three complaint letters before they evict someone from the premises. Keep copies of all your letters. If the situation goes to court then you'll need all of the documented evidence. If you really want to be detailed, then tape or video record the incidents and let the neighbor know that you have evidence of their disruptions.

Step Three-Talk to the landlord.

Unfortunately, most victims in the situation must reach this stage before anything is done. In my personal experience, I had to talk to the landlord three times before he threatened to kick them out of the building. Present the landlord with the situation, along with your document evidence and letters sent to the neighbor. The landlord may already be aware of the situation through other complaints by surrounding neighbors. Ask him or her to make a phone call to the neighbor to advise them that they're violating different laws of habitability, which is a fancy term for peace and quiet.

Step Four-Threaten the landlord.

If it comes to this step then you're really having a tough time. Some landlords are wonderful at getting situations fixed, while others are more passive and don't feel the need to correct it because, after all, they're not being bothered by it. At this point, you are treading on thin ice. You have absolutely nothing to work with. Your neighbor won't stop with the noise and the people in charge are not doing anything about it. You need to accept reality that living somewhere else may just be the answer. Approach the landlord one final time and tell them that they either need to evict the tenant or else. Your course of action could be to move out or you could tell the landlord that you will not pay rent until the situation is resolved. After all, the landlord is bound by law to provide tenants with a habitable situation and this is far from it. I wish you the best of luck and remember that there's nothing wrong with being aggressive about getting the situation resolved. There's no reason to subject yourself day after day to disturbances that affect your way of life. Do something about it!