Making New Year's Resolutions: The 21-Day Technique

It sometimes strikes me as odd how well we can fool ourselves about certain things. Why do so many of us earnestly make New Year's resolutions year after year, even though year after year we don't stick to them?

Somebody makes money from it

Some companies have learned to tap into the phenomenon as an important source of income. For instance, one local fitness center said they sell the majority of their memberships in January each year. They offer a special promotion price if you sign up for a full year, which most people do.

They said they see a huge increase in the number of people working out at their facility the first week in January. But by two weeks later the numbers are pretty much back down to normal. Two weeks! That's pretty expensive wool we're pulling over our own eyes!

Lose weight, stop smoking, and get out of debt are among the favorite resolutions Americans make every year. I'm willing to bet that diet centers, stop-smoking programs, and debt-reduction agencies see a similar swell in their client numbers every January. With probably a similar ebb a short time later.

Is there any point in trying?

Is there any point in making New Year's resolutions when the odds of keeping them seem so poor? I think so. If you're making New Year's resolutions, then you have hope that you can make things better. Hope is important. If the alternative is to give up on yourself, then making a resolution is always a better option.

Perhaps we need to learn to make New Year's resolutions differently. After all, a few people actually do make New Year's resolutions and succeed at keeping them long-term.

Some suggestions

Here are some suggestions for changing the way you handle making New Year's resolutions.

First of all, if you have a history of making and failing at New Year's resolutions, then make exactly one this year. No more, no less. It doesn't make sense to set yourself up for failure by making the challenge harder than it needs to be.

Pick your most important area and define a resolution you want to achieve there.

A word of advice: If your physical state is not good, you should set achieving physical health as your one resolution this year. The obvious reason is that you are shortening your lifespan if you don't protect your health. The not-so-obvious reason is much more important.

If your physical health is poor, whether through overweight, lack of exercise, habits such as smoking, drug or alcohol use, or ________________ (you fill in the blank), then it is an obstacle to any other important goal you could possibly have.

Think about it. If you want to get out of debt, improve your relationship, get a better job, write a book ... these things all are tremendously harder to do, let alone do well, if your mind isn't clear and your energy is low. By the same token, improve your health and you are going to be much more successful at achieving any other goal you set.

This is a powerful concept. I encourage you to think about it a lot before you make any resolution.

21-day goals

A key step in successfully achieving a goal is breaking it up into small pieces that build on each other. Did you notice I'm talking about goals now instead of New Year's resolutions? That's because a New Year's resolution is just a goal made on one particular day of the year. Make that same resolution any other day of the year and it's called a goal.

I use the idea of building-block goals a lot. I combine it with the 21-day new-habit process. Experts say it takes a minimum of 21days to replace an old habit with a new habit. If you start an exercise program, for example, once you stick it out for 21 days you have programmed it into your lifestyle. If you miss a day during the 21days, the count starts over.

The value of this is twofold. First, it starts becoming automatic so you don't have to put so much mental energy into it. Second, you're far less likely to quit for good if you miss a day after this time period.

Let's look at an example. Say I want to lose weight. My New Year's resolution might be "Lose 30 pounds in 2007." My first 21-day goal could be something like "walk 10 minutes a day for 21 days." Once I've done that 21 days in a row, I could move on to a second 21-day goal of "walk 15 minutes a day for 21 days." My third 21-day goal might be "walk 15 minutes a day and eat at least one green vegetable a day." You get the idea. The mini goals should logically follow and build on each other.

You don't have to be perfect to succeed

One other concept I've finally mastered that has led to all kinds of good results is the idea that I don't have to be perfect to achieve the goal. All that matters is some kind of forward motion. It doesn't matter how many times I fail. What matters is that I get back up and re-start the process each time.

Once I'm successful at losing the 30 pounds, no one's going to tell me it doesn't count because I failed 306 times first.

Do what works for you

These suggestions are only that: suggestions. You have to do what works for you. Only you can decide what that is.

But you must be honest with yourself. Otherwise you'll be back to pulling that wool over your eyes.

And that'll cost you.