Male Recognition Syndrome

Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was your husband. Surveys show that 99.99 percent of men have more - let's be gentle here - "stuff" than women, yet 99.95 percent will tell their wives that she's the obsessive compulsive collector of "stuff."

OK.... so we may have a few extra pair of shoes , a few good handbags, a closet full of "according-to-weight" outfits and the most needed bathroom vanity full of..."stuff". I'll be the first to admit that my bill basket throws up on itself once a week. I didn't ask for all those magazines and ads so lets place fault where the fault belongs. And there is the occasional "Yes, I will clean out the fridge in the morning" excuse. It's not like all of those aluminum foil surprises were saved because I wanted to put on more weight. Speaking of fridges..what's with the open door, take a peek, move nothing, ask if we have mayonnaise eye level paralysis thing he's got going on? We'll save that for another time.

I also admit I could open a shop and call it "I started it, you finish it." I have projects galore and yes , one day I may finish them. Listen I get bored easily which is more than likely an inherited trait so that "stuff" is legal. Now, back to him. He's got an office, a closet and High Boy Chest a full basement and a two car garage. I'm saying he has this space but I have yet to gain concrete evidence they really exist. I counted them...54 ties. Wide ties,short ties,long ties, skinny ties. I fully understand styles come and go and I am also guilty of the pleasure of securing my goods for possible future use but for heavens sake ties are not in the "according to weight" category. What about those shoes? You know. The pair he has to mow the lawn with, the pair he has for running, the dress shoes ( black and brown), the casual shoes( black and brown), the golf shoes, the tennis shoes, the work on the car shoes, the work in the yard shoes, the steel toe shoes, the go to work shoes ( black and brown), the boat shoes. Come on guys..as far as I can tell those lawn, work on the car and work in the yard shoes can be all incorporated into one pair. And..a weed whacker is NOT an accessory!

I know male testosterone levels rise when they see a tool..any tool. I'm not sure what the attraction is and I was going to let this one pass for medical reasons but I have to wonder...I know you are too...what is the purpose of having drawers and drawers and drawers full of nails, bolts, screws and a wide assortment of miscellaneous items when Home Depot has the better selection when you need one? Yes, there was that one time I did find a 50 lb picture hanger I needed amongst the ruble and I didn't complain when I spent 48 minutes unraveling fishing line to get to it. Yet. I store emergency canned food in my basement. Not sure where it is but I've been told how lucky I am he's got those metal snippers down there in case. The term "bomb" shelter literally applies to my basement.

Lastly we have the garage. Ga·rage / Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[guh-rahzh, -rahj or, especially Brit., gar-ij, -ahzh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, -raged, -rag·ing. -noun 1.a building or indoor area for parking or storing motor vehicles.
I will concede that he is using this space for the latter of the definition. I married a Frenchman. They can do anything and if you think they can't.. they will try. The newest hobby is restoring antique cars. (please see uploaded photo) He's done one already. A beautiful 1957 TR3A that scared the living chili outta me when he took it on the highway. Another male regression period: "How to get a cheap thrill out of seeing your wife in tears as you pass a 16 wheeler at 65 mph while 2 feet off ground level." I never knew there were extra tire racks under semis, did you? This has to be related to the flap the sheets and grin episodes. So, we're on our second project. A 1960 Austin Healey BN7. Again, see uploaded photo. It wouldn't seem so terrible if it wasn't for the Bug Eye Sprite parts filling our shed and basement from a project prior to the Austin that was to be my special gift. Alas, the look, the speed and the end value of a completed Concour Austin came in first. Ok..so it's a car and it's a garage. He could have a win on this one but again..see uploaded photo.

I could go on and on with this but I think you get the picture. I'm sure my associate resident could do a rebuttal and find a number of reasons why females are in the larger percentage rate of 'stuff" collectors. It may happen. It could happen. Nah... I doubt it will happen. he'd have to ask where to find the laptop.