Male Tendencies Revealed

Before we get into specifics, though, remember not to automatically assume that every tendency we discuss is true of your boyfriend. Guys aren't aliens who all act alike. They are individual human beings.

These tendencies, however, are quite common among men and should provide you with a little context and background to help you as you develop a working understanding of the "male relationship" mind.

A priority on physical intimacy

I could come up with a 500-page joke book premised on the idea that men are completely obsessed with sex. It's a common theme in our society and it's something that many women believe about men-almost without even questioning it.

Why do we assume that men place such a massive priority on physical intimacy?

Well, as with most stereotypes, it starts with a kernel of truth. Overall, men do tend to value the physical aspect of relationships more than women do. As is the case with all of the tendencies we'll discuss, that isn't universally true.

There are guys who aren't that physical and there are women who see sex as the key element of any romantic relationship. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but you must remember that we're looking at generalities here.

I could discuss the oft-argued biological roots of the male sex drive as an explanation for the male tendency to value physical intimacy highly. I could explain it in terms of a snowballing obsession with sex that socialization tends to reinforce among men.

I could write it off, to phalli centric cultures and longstanding dehumanization of women. There are a million different potential explanations and many of them make a lot of sense.

The cause, though, is less important than understanding that it's there. And more importantly than that, we should probably understand what it means.

I will leave a detailed explanation of all of that to folks like Sigmund Freud, but I do want to put one idea in front of you that often goes overlooked when it comes to this topic.

Men tend to be action-oriented. They communicate in physical ways instead of verbal ones in many cases. When he fixes your car, part of the reasoning behind it is to create a tangible statement of his love and appreciation for you.

Married men may try to tell their wives that they love them by doing dishes or fixing a leaking roof. Boyfriends often express their feelings with actions, purchases, and "doing things" instead of communicating verbally.

On some level, the male tendency to value physical intimacy in a relationship may be less about the sex act than it is about communicating. That may seem like a strange way to communicate, but it often one of those slight differences of which we need to be aware.

Yes, guys have hormonal issues that drive them to act like boors sometimes. And yes, they are socialized to view physical intimacy as a proof of their value. But there's also a communicative aspect there.

In any case, men do tend to value physical intimacy higher than do women.