Malingering Spiritual Malaise Spurs Demand for Even More Star Wars Sagas

Facing a spiritual crisis the likes unseen since the depths of the Cold War in the 50's, Americans from all strata have voiced an innate, desperate longing for even more Star Wars movies, citing a deep-rooted philosophical need as cause.

"I need an Obi Wan right about now." Pitifully murmured D.C. resident Sandy Hope. "In today's insane world of terrorist attacks, global warming, incurable diseases and horrible natural disasters, I need to believe that there is an immortal authority filled with gentle all-seeing wisdom and boundless benign compassion, preferably with a really cool-o British accent that bespeaks of established reputation and tasteful social credibility. I need my Star Wars again! *SOB!*"

Indeed, Sandy Hope is not alone.

Across America, and even across greater parts of the world, the cry is out for George Lucas to write even more Star Wars movie scripts, as the need for a sense of something grander beyond the jaded, pitiful confines of a suffocating human existence on planet earth once again seizes the imagination, spirit and soul. Star Wars is indeed a religion, as rich in wisdom and as touching to the human psyche as any established one.

For religion to be effective, one must constantly be reminded of its existence, be it in the form of Sunday services for Christians, or daily prayers to Mecca for Muslims matters not, as lapse of exposure to religion results in lack of lasting emotional effect, and Star Wars comes along only far too infrequently to be entirely emotionally effective.

"I need to feel that I am part of a grander scheme of things, and that there are others out there that share my need." Hope hopefully reflected. "Star Wars gives me that. If entire civilizations are fighting for justice in distant galaxies, then it makes me feel that I am not alone, and that my own earthly anxieties are petty and incomparable in scope. I need to believe in an afterlife and God, and a life force that connects all corners of the Universe in a grand tapestry of empathy and light. I need to feel comforted that there are master teachers that fight for pureness of soul, unselfish and unwavering, totally devoid of greed, ignorance and illusion. Only Star Wars can give me that, and Star Wars alone."

George Lucas has no immediate plans to revive the Star Wars series, but studiously points out "Star Wars is in fact a religion, as it fills many basic emotional human needs. Of course a big part part of the overall spiritual impact is a theater sized screen with Dolby Surround Sound, so I'll think I'll wait until the average home television size is over 60 inches of high definition, 1080p Red Sea parting kick-ass biblical quality first!"