Managing Employees in Crisis with Special Needs Children

Employees who have special needs children will have regular visits with special education teachers, mental health professionals, and possibly need marriage counseling to assist in handling the stress.

An employer can certainly say it's the employees' problem; if they can't handle it then they can't work at that company. Employers also face pressures to treat all employees equally.

An employer may find that assisting employees with special needs children will boost overall morale, increase productivity, and lead to caring solutions for other employees.

Families with special needs children are growing in number, but they are still in the minority. According to Massachusetts General Hospital, about 13 percent of children in the U.S. have a chronic condition or special health care need. About half of those children will be limited physically or mentally due to their conditions.

Demands employees face

My wife and I have adopted four children out of foster care. In addition, we had two teenage boys as guardians - one for six years and the other for one-and-a-half years. Our children presented a variety of demands but some of the most serious came during their latter teen years.

For one of our children, here are the demands we experienced when she was aged 15 to 16:

A behavioral specialist was in our home for up to 30 hours per week for a 9-month period and either my wife or I had to be present. We developed short-term plans to curb screaming, door slamming, and physical aggressiveness;

During her 9^th grade year, we had nine individual education plan (IEP) meetings to decide which special education program in the school district was most appropriate. She constantly skipped class and detention, could not stay focused on a task, and she occasionally threatened others;

Those IEP meetings typically went for two hours and I would leave with my mind buzzing;

We had regular phone calls to a psychiatrist about her medication and our family psychologist.

Our weekends were often exhausting due to stress in the home.

At the same time, we were facing pregnancy with another daughter and alcoholism issues with a son.

I was working at the time as a sales consultant for a home improvement company. I was responsible for generating my own leads, setting appointments, and making sales. I was paid on a commission only basis.

Toward the end of 2006, the industry was slowing down as credit tightened and after the previous years were a boom for home improvement.

My wife was, and is, a nurse practitioner able to work about 20 hours per week.

Keep open communication

Employees with special needs children will react differently. I personally felt like withdrawing from gatherings at church and our occasional extended family gatherings. Employees can become emotionally exhausted from the pressures of intense family life and work demands.

Employers can keep open communication and ask the employee to let them know about upcoming appointments and how those will affect their productivity or time in the office. Provide assurance that the inquiry is not a set-up for a possible lay-off or firing. Instead, offer it as an attempt at building a solution.

Offer resources

Businesses must make a profit to keep operating and meet payroll. The core business is building furniture, making aerospace parts, cleaning windows or whatever industry where the company operates. Being a support system for families is understandably not part of the core business.

However, a company can easily access resources for support groups in the local area or specialists on topics like autism or behavioral needs. Local hospitals are a good place to start collecting information. Larger facilities will have mental health resources, too. Churches and synagogues may also have, or be able to find, resources for families in crisis.

Host Employee-led support groups

If more than one employee is experiencing a crisis, try to have them form a peer-led support group to meet over lunch or at another time of day or evening. For small companies, it may be useful to connect with other small companies to help employees share resources.

Place the resources on file so future employees can access the information.

Try job sharing

Try to look ahead with the employee for a month or a quarter and determine what needs may exist. If the employee is valuable and yet needs some time away, try a job-sharing approach. Call a temporary staffing agency to see if employees with similar skills are available.

Positive changes can occur

Employees can become deeply discouraged. This past three years to four years has been the most challenging period of my life. Yet, there is hope for improvement. If an employee needs extended time away - or even has to agree they can no longer work for the company - encourage them to either work in a consulting capacity or to reapply for a position in the future.

Strategic resources

Thinkkids.org - this program out of Massachusetts General Hospital is excellent for children with behavioral needs

NACAC - North American Council on Adoptable Children offers links to additional resources.

Log on to a state's mental health department web site or on to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services for more links and resources.