Managing Your Life as a Team with Your Partner

Working together in a relationship is extremely important - both practically, and emotionally. These days, whether you and your partner both work outside of the house, or only one of you, the normal demands of life don't have to be done on your own. One of the benefits of getting married, or even getting in a relationship is having the opportunity to share your life with someone else. That means the fun vacations and dinners out, as well as the nitty gritty of daily life - from cleaning the bathroom to taking out the trash. I have found that working together as a team mate with your partner, not only helps you manage from day to day, but also helps to strengthen your partnership.

Instead of running around crazy, trying to be a super hero and do everything on your own, look for areas of your life where you can share some responsibilities with your partner. Some ways you can work together include:

Mealtime responsibilities. My husband hates to cook. And I pretty much hate to clean. So, mealtimes for us, is a no-brainer. I cook. He cleans up afterwards. But, understand your limitations. First, I know that he doesn't like cleaning up big messes, nor will he clean up anything that looks overwhelming. So, I make sure that I clean up as I go, and at least set the big dishes to soaking. And I have my limitations, too. Sometimes I like a day or two off from cooking. Sometimes it's too busy, or sometimes I'm just too tired. And, I expect that my husband understand. We can eat leftovers, get take out, go out for dinner, or he can cook (and in turn, I'll clean up).

House cleaning responsibilities. We used to have a house keeper come twice a month. But, we found that we weren't as happy with their services, and we could do a better job ourselves, and save money at the same time. So, for daily cleaning, we clean as we go. We clean the kitchen, wipe down the sinks and counters, vacuum, and do laundry whenever it's needed. Generally, we tidy as we go along. Then, twice a month we do a deep cleaning. My husband vacuums the whole house really well, to include the furniture and the stairs, and cleans all the mirrors and other glass surfaces (the sliding door to the deck and the buffet doors). He also changes the bed sheets. I clean all of the bathrooms and wash the kitchen floor, and then I dust the house. As I dust, I tidy up and clear all the clutter.

Bill paying responsibilities. This really is a one person job. But we make it a two person job. This ensures that we are both aware of the money going out of the house, and the amount of money we have left. My husband likes to open the mail. When he opens a bill, he tears off the payment coupon and puts it with the return envelope. Then on the return envelope where you put the stamp, he writes the amount due and the due date. Then, I go through and pay the bills. We balance our checkbook online, so we both look at the account just about every other day.

Childcare responsibilities. In this situation, our family is different. My 6 year old son is from my previous marriage. So the whole "child care" situation is new for him. And sharing the responsibility is new for me - I did the first years completely on my own. But still, we work together. One of us drops our son off at day care, and the other picks him up. We're flexible, though, so we discuss our schedules. Sometimes I do double duty on one day, and sometimes he does. But it all balances out. We both go through his homework folder every night to check his progress, and I let my husband sign off that it's complete. We split the nighttime routine, too. One of us makes sure our son takes a shower, and the other one reads the bedtime story. Then, we tuck him in together. It's important, also, that each parent have quality alone time with the children. When I'm cooking dinner, my husband usually plays a game with our son. Then while my husband cleans the kitchen after dinner, I play a game. The important thing here - is to ask for help. Both parents need to be involved in child care responsibiliies, both for the support of your partner, and the bonding with your child. Oh - and for those of you without children, the same goes for your pets. After all, we know that our pets, are often like our children!

Outside responsibilities. This is the one area in our family, that we really have divided up the duties. Essentially, my husband loves to wash the cars, and he likes to mow the yard. (He says it makes him feel more like a man!) In turn, I'm responsible for weeding, mulching, planting flowers, and trimming the bushes. And when I need help, I ask for it. This is a perfect opportunity, as well, to colaborate with your partner. One of you may do the planting, but you both can do the layout design and the shopping together. If you both have imput, you both are more likely to take care of things together in the future.

When couples work together to complete daily tasks, the tasks get done a lot quicker. Not only that, you both know that you're working toward the same goal - and helping each other in the process. Not only will you work together to save your sanity, but you're creating a stronger bond between the two of you.