Managing a Stepfamily

After a divorce, single parents may feel as though they never want to get close to someone again. However, after time has past and all the wounds have closed sometimes feelings change and new relationships don't seem so scary. Some of these new relationships bring with them a whole new dynamic -- a stepfamily. In the June 2011 issue of Parenting School Years, some of the ways to have a successful stepfamily were discussed in an article on the topic.

Enjoy the Second Chance

In the past, divorce was considered more taboo than it presently is. Today, blended families find that the new relationships offer a second chance at being successful within their new family structure. Embrace the opportunity and find ways to nourish and nurture the blended family in the multitudes of ways that present themselves daily. Whether it be loving gestures in one way or another, or maybe spending unexpected time together, there are ways to nurture the relationships being built in your new family.

It's a Process

Moving forward in the new family, remember that the relationships being built are all a work in progress. They'll need the gentle hand of time to weave it's magic into the family to make it all work. Working towards a place within the new family that is relatively comfortable will be progressive over a chunk of time. It's important for everyone to be patient with one another for the good of the whole family and not expect instant change from any family members during the delicate process of building new relationships.

Go to the Parent

As a new step parent, it's likely you'll encounter some less than desirable behavior from your new stepchild. At least in the beginning, consider taking the dispute directly to your new significant other, the child's parent to help resolve the issue. In that way the new stepchild can work with his/her parent on the new adjustments that are in play surrounding him/her.

Your New Culture

Culture shock of sorts is a good way to explain the feelings everyone involved in the family may be feeling. The new family life brought forth is filled with lots of firsts for everyone and some members of the family may embrace these changes quicker than others. Give the entire situation as much patience as required. If solutions become forced rather than remedied naturally, some chaos can be expected. When it doubt, be patient and look to your intuition to guide you down a path for the greater good of the entire family.

Source:

Parenting School Years June 2011 issue