Mangini Sees Patriots in Browns

Eric Mangini has either lost his mind or his weed pipe, because he is the kind of delusional that gets made into beer commercials.

Mangini looks at his current Browns and sees Super Bowl Patriots. He also drinks rainwater to perserve his precious bodily fluids.

Comparing the first years of the Belichick Regime to his first season in Cleveland, Mangini is quoted in the Boston Globe as saying, "There are remarkable similarities between the situations."

WHAT?

There are remarkable similarities between the situations?

Okay, okay, I'll bite. Are they similar?

Let's look at the ownership situation. As Randy Lerner has owned the Browns for 120 games thus far, we'll compare that to Robert Kraft's first 120 games with the Patriots.

In Kraft's tenure as Patriots owner, his team's record over the first six and a half seasons was 63 wins, 57 losses (a .525 winning percentage), five playoff appearances, and, of course, a Super Bowl victory at the end of the seventh season.

In Lerner's tenure as Browns owner, his team's record over the same period is 43 victories, 77 defeats (a .359 winning percentage), one playoff appearance (2002), five seasons of double-digit losses, and, of course, the only way the current 1-7 Browns will get to the Super Bowl is through an online ticket re-seller.

Bill Belichick's first two quarterbacks in New England were Drew Bledsoe and Tom Brady. Bledsoe took the Parcells-coached Patriots to a Super Bowl loss, and Brady is only a modern Joe Montana.

Eric Mangini's first two quarterbacks in Cleveland are Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. Quinn's rookie year holdout allowed Derek Anderson to be the QB of record when the Browns had their only winning season under Lerner's ownership. Then, of course, Anderson went right back to stinking like fish guts in sunshine, and Quinn's development has been set so far back that he might not be able to start ahead of Jimmy Clausen at his alma mater, Notre Dame.

Both teams have devoted, if not rabid, fans. However, in New England, the fans fill Foxborough to the rim, just like they have for every home game of Kraft's ownership.

In Cleveland, the owner has to take meetings with fans wearing plastic dog bones on their heads.

In New England, Bill Belichick won two championships as Bill Parcells' defensive coordinator, and three on his own as head coach. It's worth noting that Bill Parcells never won a title without a Belichick-led defense.

In Cleveland, Eric Mangini is looking like the latest in a long line of former Belichick assistants that had awful NFL head-coaching careers.

Yeah. Lots of similarities there.

Actually, that was beneath me. There are a lot of similarities here, if one compares this Browns team to most of the teams that have preceded it.

These Browns will be at least as awful as every sub-.500 Browns team since Marty Schottenheimer got Elway'ed. That would be 13 seasons of suck out of the last 17.

Paraphrasing the Man-genius, there are remarkable similarities between the situations