Manhattan Restaurant Review: East River Cafe

Located on 61st Street and First Avenue on Manhattan's Upper East Side, so close to the 59th Street bridge underpass it's a short stagger there to vomit if you had one too many of the ERC's (East River Café) tasty and cold gin martinis, the average dood like me will find a good selection of fish, poultry, pasta at a reasonable price and taste and even a bit of celebrity. You see, ERC has a special place in mein heart because it was one of the first times I was recognized, right at that copper topped bar by one of the viewers of my vlog, Ed-E-torial. So let's start with that bar, a good one to "beve" at.

At the bar, E.R.C. has a good deal of regulars, who are characters. Whenever I frequent a place on a semi-regular basis, I make it a point to talk to said mainstays but not know their names. I find it lends to the fantasy element so lacking in my life. Sit at the bar on any weeknight after six, and 60 something really fat guy will come in, gray hair, gray beard and Dockers because they're slimming. He'll sit down next to you and talk loudly and sing even more loudly, when the piano player with glasses and bow tie starts after seven. The music is old standards, a winner. It really starts rockin' when Irish bartender with Bill Cosby like leather suspenders goads on 60 something really fat Docker guy. Let me say that just because most of the crowd is over 45 doesn't mean it can't get, how do the youngsters (those under 35) say, amp'd?

They are two sections to East River Café, the front area with tables, said copper topped bar, piano and the tables one step up in the back, flanked by a black wrought iron railing and gossamer white drapes that hang to the floor, slightly drawn back,. Those web celebrities who have been recognized prefer to sit there. You'd be surprised how removed and quiet it can be from the bar. I also like to sit at one of the tables closest to the curtains and occasionally pull them back to spy on the bar scene just to see what 60 something really fat guy in Dockers is up to or off-key.

"The food," you ask. "There is some", I respond. I guess you could call it Continental meets Mediterranean meets Italian. Eclectic? Lack of focus? Hey, it's a café. You can order the Pomodoro Gnocchi in a pesto and brie sauce, which ain't bad. Or you can go for the lasagna with a veal rogue in a béchamel sauce. That's one of my favorites, though I have to tell you on a busy night it may be a bit crispy around the edges. Hey, they don't say it's fresh lasagna. But what gets my juices flowing is the Tortellini D'Arogosta. Now this is homemade. Tortellini stuffed with lobster served with shrimp in a sweet yet spicy fra diavlo sauce. Num, num. East River Cafe also has fish salad. I know this because one night when I was in the back 60 something really fat guy in Dockers had a date by the hour, if you get my meaning. Said "Behind the Green Door" extra ordered the, "Tonno Magico, and make sure that tuna isn't Bumble Bee. I've got a cultured palate." Ah, love is only an out call away at Premiere Escorts.

East River Café does have a few bits of debris in the water. Service can be spotty, and it doesn't necessarily coincide to the amount of diners. Go on a night when many of the beautiful "I'm just one job from getting my SAG card" wait staff are out, and you'll be waiting a while for that appy to come. On the plus side, the wait staff on that night will be pleasant about it...good theater training. And, yes, on busy nights, the food can come out a bit crispy or cold. But, hey, the price is okay for the people watching. The drinks are nice sized. The music mood setting. And the bill will be decidedly less than 60 something really fat guy in Dockers' date. Should you drop by? Yes. You might even see me.