Manners Matter!

Now more than ever, good manners stand out and make a positive impression. Everyday courtesy and good manners show respect for others. When children understand the value of courtesy, they understand principles that set the stage for good relationships with peers, at school, and in the future.

How do parents teach children the importance of good manners? Try these tips to get started, and then add some of your own.

Model good manners at home.
Of course, the standards are "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome." But add to the mix. Talk about when to say, "I'm sorry," or "Excuse me." After birthdays and holidays, help your children write thank you notes or make special thank you phone calls, and let them see you do the same. Even small children can draw a picture to express thanks for special gifts. These can be delivered in person or sent through the mail. The recipient will appreciate the thoughtful gesture and the note itself becomes a keepsake.

Teach table manners when it's not a special occasion.
Courteous behavior at the table need not be limited to holidays or trips to Great Aunt Samantha's house. Every so often, serve a "fancy" dinner in the dining room; you might even use the good dishes. Use this opportunity to emphasize proper behavior at the table. When eating out, consider a restaurant other than the kids' favorite fast food joint. Family restaurants such as Red Robin or Applebee's offer foods that children enjoy in an environment that allows them to practice good table manners.

Watch for "teachable moments."
Children are often fascinated by the sight of another child having a tantrum in public or misbehaving at the mall. But you can be sure that children do not provide the only examples of bad public behavior. When you hear someone burp loudly or blow their nose in public, quietly point out to your child that this person is not using good manners. Ask your child what the person might have done differently to be more courteous.

Discuss expectations ahead of time.
Before heading out the door for dinner or a visit to a friend's home, talk about how good manners help everyone have an enjoyable time. Discuss how your child will know that it is time to help put toys away and thank the hostess for providing a snack. If you have air travel planned, discuss the importance of "indoor voices" at the airport and on the plane. Your fellow passengers will thank you!

Set the stage for success.
Very young children cannot be expected to remain quiet and occupy themselves for an extended dinner at an upscale restaurant or on cross country flight. As often as possible, be sure that the setting is appropriate for your child's age and developmental level. Pack a small activity bag just for special outings. Crayons and a drawing pad, stickers, and small toys such as Matchbox cars or Polly Pockets can amuse a child when wait times get long.

Finally be sure that your child is not tired or hungry when you embark on an outing.
Courteous behavior and complying with established expectations comes easier when a child is well rested and not ravenous!

Children who display good manners make a positive and lasting impression on others. Courteous behavior supports good relationships with peers and adults alike. Take time to teach your children the value of courtesy. In the long run, manners do matter!