Mardi Gras Trip to New Orleans

A bunch got together, I think about fourteen
They took a bus trip down to New Orleans
They took some jello shots, liquor, and beer
By the time they got there, they were not thinking clear.

They knew they'd be plastered by the end of the day
So they chose a chaperone, to channel their way
I was about to learn why these folks picked me
To chaperone them safely on their Mardi gras spree.

I went along with these folks,'cause I was naïve,
What I was about to see, I would never believe.
They were all drinking heavy on the way down
Fear started growing cause we couldn't turn around.

They were really drunk when we got to sin city
What lay ahead of me was a dreadful pity
I was quite confident as we stepped to the street
That someone would not be returning with me.

That's when it hit me; I was sore afraid
Except for these idiots, there'd be no parade
Elbow to elbow, I felt like sardines,
On this, my first Mardi gras in New Orleans.

People with rings in their ##%% and their nose
Others walking around with absolutely no clothes
I've never seen a movie with such dreadful fright
Sodom and Gomorrah couldn't hold them a light.

My drunk bunch got hungry, and wanted to eat
We walked into an eatery, looked around for a seat
When a pair of panties flew toward the bartender,
We got thrown out, oh what a dilemma!!!

Walking in secretions of sewage and slush
I was coaxing my bunch back toward the bus.
One of the girls lost her ring at the diner,
And three of them went back to find it!!!

Back at the bus now, we're all finally in
Headed home, away from this city of sin
If you want a journey unlike any you've seen,
Take some drunks to Mardi gras in New Orleans