Marge Simpson Will Be First Cartoon Character in Playboy Magazine!

Valerie Ferrari
Playboy Magazine has announced that Marge Simpson, the blue-haired spouse of bumbling, lazy Homer Simpson, will be appearing nude in their November 2009 issue. Featuring a cartoon character is a first for Playboy, but what about that Marge? It's quite a departure from the norm for a character who is the mother of 3 children and the stabilizing force of the family. Marge has never even been unfaithful to her oaf of husband, even though she has been pursued by characters such as Frenchman Jacques (in the episode, Life in the Fast Lane). It's sure to cause quite a stir in toon-land. There will be outrage, shock and even competitive jealousy, and if there's a decline in morals of the future cartoon generations, we can all thank Playboy.

Betty Boop will certainly not be happy. The wasp-waisted boop-oop-a-doop cartoon veteran just oozes sex appeal and thinks Marge is a frump. Betty was sporting mini-skirts before they were even invented and Betty's been around a lot longer than Marge. Uh ... That didn't sound right, did it?

Gossip will surely be flying around Hanna Barbera's cartoon world. In Bedrock, Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble will be shocked. So will Jane Jetson. They'll think Marge Simpson is not only setting a bad example for her own daughters, Lisa and Maggie, but their kids, Pebbles Flintstone and Judy Jetson -- and what about the Powerpuff Girls? There was a time when cartoon mothers set a wholesome example. What is the cartoon world coming to? They all considered Marge a good role model -- until now.

Smurfette won't want to be mean but the fact Marge's hair is blue won't escape her notice and is sure to strike a sour note. Smurfette's whole body is blue and she's a natural blonde. There will be quite a ruckus when Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck find their fellas "reading the articles."

Expect a very animated backlash from a rash of sexy characters who will surely think they should have been considered first. Natasha Fatale, the female half of the Russian spy duo in The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, will be furious. Natasha is not only sexy, but mysterious and crafty and she is bound to be joined in her indignation by sultry Jessica Rabbit, Lana Lang and Wonder Woman. GI Joe's Cover Girl might go on a rampage for not being asked first because she was, after all, a top fashion model before joining the Joes. Intense as her rage may be, it surely will not match that of the self-styled epitome of Muppet feminine charm and wiles, the Fabulous Miss Piggy.

In the meantime, Velma and Daphne may be sending in their snapshots, figuring if Marge can get on there, a Scooby Doo "double trouble" centerfold can't be far off.

Published by Valerie Ferrari - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment

In addition to being a Y!CN Featured Entertainment Contributor, I run a classic poetry site and am the webmaster for several online entertainment businesses. Email me at info@vjwebs.com   View profile

5 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Melissa Lawson 11/3/2009

    I love the way you wrote this. Too funny! I had no idea Marge was gonna be in Playboy. Wow. Guess I should keep up with the news. I'm sure this has been talked about. Gave me a great laugh! Thanks.

  • Marilyn Williams 10/10/2009

    I'm thinking that since Smurfette was the only female in a world of blue men, she must have been the mother of them all. That being said, I suspect with all that reproducing she must have done, she'd be the last one to pass judgement on Marge.

    This was a really cute read, however. It brought a smile to my face.

  • Moeursalen 10/10/2009

    Lively writing...and funny.

  • Linda Louise Johnson 10/10/2009

    You are so with it-- look at you knowing about November Playboy covers! Marge probably told you herself.

  • johnny 10/10/2009

    Olive Oyl was the original hottie. Always had 2 guys fighting over her

Displaying Comments

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.