Marital Separation: Reasons a Woman Should Not Reconcile with Her Husband

If a woman truly loves her husband it can be difficult not to take him back after a separation. After all she knows she loves him, she doesn't want to be alone, and she can't imagine getting a divorce. However, sometimes there are really good reasons not to reconcile, whether it be just temporarily, or permanently,

Abuse-

No woman should consider reconciling with her husband until such time he has gotten the counseling he needs, and has the all clear from her husband's counselor. Even this is no guarantee that he won't be abusive again. However, with the go ahead form a qualified counselor you have a better chance. She should never of course reconcile with her husband if he is making no effort at counseling at all. If she does it may be the most dangerous decision she will ever make. In fact in some cases it can be deadly. So remember, until he is completely well, leave the reconciliation on the back burner.

Adultery/Cheating-

If your husband has left to be with another woman, and then suddenly feels he has seen the light and wants to come back, you need to stop and think. You need to think about whether it will happen again, how you feel toward him because of the affair, and if the marriage is worth saving. All this thinking takes time. So, don't reconcile until you have thought it all out clearly. You also may want to get some counseling so you have someone to help you along the way. A counselor won't tell you what to do, but will be supportive toward you in the process of deciding. If you have any doubts, reconciliation may not be the way to go. Some women can never come to terms with how they were betrayed, and the pain they experienced because of the affair. If you can't forgive and forget, it may be best for you to move on and start a new life, that doesn't include the pain of a such a painful betrayal.

Serious Addiction-

If you have separated and your husband is still very much active in his addiction, it is not a good idea to reconcile. Most spouses end up being enablers toward their addicted spouse, and this is not helping anyone, including the addict. It is not only impossible for you to cure your husband.s addiction, it's also causing harm to you. Many a spouse of an addict has gone through hell just trying to maintain their sanity living with an addict. He has to want to get well, and he has to do it. If you feel you must be supportive, do it from a distance, and clearly let him know that there will be no reconciliation until he and his addiction are well under control. This usually takes a couple of years, so don't look for any reconciliation in the very near future.

Refusal To Work-

You originally through him out because he refused to get a job. Month after month there was excuse after excuse of why he wasn't working. So, why would you even want to reconcile in the first place? I know you miss him, but that excuse isn't good enough. You can't play mommy to his little boy act of being helpless and being lazy. No adult should be taking care of any other adult unless they are mentally, or physically incapable of doing it themselves. No reconciliation should even be considered until he proves he can keep a job for at least one year, and during that one year he is paying child support on a regular basis, if you have children. Some men that are lazy never change, it's easier for them to look for another caretaker. So, don't be surprised if before the year is up he finds someone else who is willing to let him sit around with all his lame excuses.

End of The Rope-

Likely Page Break
Sometimes no matter what the reasons are, a woman can come to the end of her rope with her husband's' unacceptable behavior. When this happens the best thing may be to not ever reconcile. A relationship is suppose to be about being happy, not seeing how high your tolerance is for the other person's bad behaviors. Sometimes when it's over, it;s over, no matter what you do. If you feel like you're at the end of your rope and the idea of reconciliation is beyond acceptance, than you're probably to the point where the relationship is not worth saving. Always remember, if you have to give up your sanity, health, or well being for a relationship, it's not worth it. If this is the case, save yourself, and move on gracefully.

These are but just a few good reasons not to reconcile with your husband, whether it be just temporarily until he gets his act together, or permanently, because he is unable and unwilling to change!