Marital Sex Economics: An Economic Explanation for the Declining Frequency of Marital Sex

The importance of sexual connectedness and interactions between humans cannot be understated. In many cultures, sexual relationships are strongly encouraged within the confines of an established, binding union between the male members and female members of the society. The purpose of this union, or marriage, between the individuals is to ensure that the integrity and stability of that culture's premier social unit, the family, remains intact. However, despite the assumed regular availability of sex within the marital union, one of the major issues regarding marital sex is the decline of sexual frequency that often occurs over the course of the marriage. There are perhaps infinitely many explanations for this occurrence including the effects of aging, children, illness, religious/cultural attitudes, and increasingly demanding careers. However, this paper will explore how the field of economics, with its many implications for real world events, provides one potential key for understanding this trend.

The Controversy:

Declining sexual frequency in marriage is a phenomenon that has intrigued researchers and has intimidated fiancés and long-term boyfriends around the world. According to Hyde and DeLamater (2006), "For some couples there is a gradual disenchantment with sex . . . The average American married couple has coitus two to three times per week when they are in their twenties, with the frequency gradually declining as they get older" (p.291). There have been many proposed answers for this decrease in activity, but the question of "why" this takes place remains largely unanswered. In my opinion, the economic law of diminishing marginal utility is one theory that can be used to explain this decrease of sexual interaction in marriage.

Definition of Economic Terms

In order to apply our economic reasoning to the situation of declining marital sexual relations, we must first designate marriage as the market that enables producers and consumers to carry out a voluntary exchange of goods (Parkin, 2006). Within our marriage market, sex is the primary good or commodity to be traded or exchanged. Marriage represents a rather unique economic situation where both the husband and wife operate as the exclusive producers and exclusive consumers of the good! In economics goods are subject to measures of utility. According to Parkin (2005) Utility is defined as "the benefit or satisfaction that a person gets from the consumption of a good or service." Similarly, marginal utility refers to "the change in total utility from a one unit increase in the quantity of a good consumed." Finally, according to the law of diminishing marginal utility, the more a good is consumed or made available, the less each additional unit of the good is valued (p.151-153).

Marginal Utility:

An Interdisciplinary Rationalization for the Decline of Marital Sex Relations

Jasso (1985) asserts that, "the phenomenon of declining frequency of marital sex, or "the honeymoon effect, is due to the loss of novelty." Essentially, the newness and intensity of sex that is often attributed to the honeymoon night is lost as the marriage matures. Sex becomes "old," predictable, and monotonous such that the costs of participating in intercourse outweigh the benefits and ultimately result in a decline or regular avoidance of the activity. Liu (2000) supports this point saying:Marital sexual actions between a husband and a wife initially bring about a relatively high level of satisfaction; therefore, one can expect sexual activity to be more frequent. As marital sex increases, the level of satisfaction lowers; thus, fewer resources will be allocated to it. Consequently, the frequency of marital sex declines. (p. 949)

The law of diminishing marginal utility tells us that the initial undertaking of an activity offers us the greatest pleasure and benefit we will ever receive from that activity. Because subsequent sexual encounters in a marriage cannot compare to the experience of the first time, sex loses its marginal utility and the activity is eventually decreased.

The marginal utility of consuming, or the sexual satisfaction of participating in sex is initially very high for newlyweds. However, as the couple continues to satisfy their demand for sex, marginal utility and satisfaction decrease and sex loses its perceived value with every episode. In theory, each additional sexual encounter fails to produce the same high intensity, fervor of the very first time. Blumstein, Schwartz, and Liu's theories of a "loss of novelty" or a "loss of satisfaction" are related to and reminiscent of the economic theory of decreasing marginal utility.

Limitations of the Marginal Utility Theory: Quality Versus Quantity

As a married woman, I can attest to the gradual decrease in sexual activity noted by the above referenced authors. Early on, I envisioned consecutive nights of candle-assisted lovemaking into the dawn, and steamy, romantic evenings that rivaled our honeymoon night. I never believed I would become a casualty of the "marital war on sex." However, if the old adage of quality over quantity remains true, then marriage has certainly achieved that effect. In fact, this adage actually reveals one of the limitations of the marginal utility theory as an explanation for decreasing marital sexual activity. A major countervailing point against the theory rests on the idea that the actual decrease in sex may not be due to "disenchantment or dissatisfaction" with the act, but rather due to an improvement in the overall quality of the act over time such that frequent sex is no longer required to reach expected levels of pleasure. For some, marital sex is the most fulfilling and meaningful sex of all: one good session of lovemaking can easily trump 3 or 4 "quickies" (Waite & Joyner, 2001).

Mitigating the Effects of Economic Rigidity

My final argument should be a ray of hope for married couples everywhere. Though economics is deeply rooted in the absolutes of mathematics, the wonder and emotional idealism of humanity leave much room for exceptions and deviations from norms and rules. Marginal utility need not be a process that proceeds in one direction toward a futile end. Much can be done to mitigate the effects of marginal utility on the intensity and fervor of marital sexual relations over time. For example, adding new positions to the sexual repertoire, investing in sex classes and educational reading materials, and even taking a break from sex by becoming involved in other aspects of marital life may create situations where the marginal utility of sex is increased and sexual interactions resume at a level where both partners are satisfied. So while economic principles like marginal utility often play an important role in helping describe certain marital phenomena, these principles are by no means the final authority on marital sex relations. This responsibility can lie nowhere but squarely in the hands of the two married individuals.

References

Blumstein, P., & Schwartz, P. (1983). American couples. New York: William Morrow and Company.

Hyde, J., & DeLamater, J. (2006). Understanding Human Sexuality. New York.: McGraw- Hill. pp.290-291.

Jasso, Guillermina. (1985). Marital Coital Frequency and the Passage of Time: Estimating the Separate Effects of Spouses' Ages and Marital Duration, Birth and Marriage Cohorts, and Period influences. American Sociological Review. 50: 224-241.

Liu, C. (2000). A Theory of Marital Sexual Life. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62, 363-374.

Waite L., & Joyner, K. (2000). Men's and Women's General Happiness And Sexual Satisfaction in Marriage, Cohabitation, and Single Living. The Social Organization of Sexuality: Further Studies. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.