Marriage After Age 50: What to Expect the First Year

Marriage is a wonderful institution presenting a variety of blessings and challenges all in the same year. For many couples, especially those who marry after age 50, there are unique challenges in the first year of marriage commonly associated with spending many prior years as a single adult. Understanding what issues to expect in the first year of marriage can provide the 50+ adult with a more realistic expectation about marriage.

In the first year of any marriage it is common to argue over money, family and the variety of issues we consider personal such as our personal interests in restaurants and movies. But, for adults over age 50, especially those who are marrying for the first time, there is an increasingly common dispute over personal space. Because the 50+ adult has generally establish his or her own set of routines and processes, finding a way to blend those processes with another 50+ adult can be challenging.

For many women, marrying after the age of 50, there is an increasing concern over the loss of personal time. While prior to marriage, the dating process may have required much devotion of time and attention, it is the period after marriage that a woman soon realizes how much time her husband may require of her. As a result, she has lost her personal time and space she once coveted.

For women who have pursued careers prior to getting married, the sudden "imposition" of marriage upon her ability to socialize and pursue career is often met with great challenge. In social settings where she once was free to socialize with both men and women, often, the career focused women may find society now has some expectation her social network will be predominantly women. In the 21st century, this is an increasingly complex issue for the career minded woman to understand and accept.

There are some key aspects of marriage, after age 50, that should be considered and practiced, especially during the first year of marriage. First, remember the adjustment to marriage is not one that will occur over night. In fact, many couples report the adjustment period to be as long as nine or ten months. Additionally, remember the change in lifestyle is equally as hard for your new spouse. As a result, we must take the patience we have acquired through life and apply it to our ability to be flexible.

And, finally, well before getting married try to set boundaries and communication for determining what space and privacy each partner will be permitted to have. Because private space is crucial in a marriage, each partner should outline where and when his or her space is accessible and where it will be located. This may be something as simple as a bathroom vanity area or a completely separate bedroom. Whatever the agreement between the couple, the boundaries established should be respected.

As with any change in lifestyle, marriage poses some of the greatest challenges and risks. With open communication and acceptance of the challenge within both partners, begin married after age 50 can be as successful as an early adult hood marriage.