Marriage After an Internet Affair

A cyber affair can be devastating to a marriage. It does not, however, have to be the end of a marriage.

Cyber affairs usually start out as emotional affairs. Sometimes, they progress into physical affairs. No matter which of these is true in your situation, your marriage can survive.

The key to rebuilding your marriage is that both spouses have to be willing participants. No marriage can work if only one person is working to strengthen the marriage.

The first thing that needs to happen to successfully start the process of rebuilding a marriage is to have an open and honest talk with your spouse. This talk should be calm. This is not the time to accuse each other of anything. This is a time to clear the air.

A basic ground rule for this talk is that nothing said can be held against the person saying it. Now, this does not mean that this is the time to say negative things to your spouse or about your spouse. Use this talk to acknowledge your own faults. Do not use this time to point out the things you think are your spouse's faults.

During this talk, do not try to force your spouse to talk about the Internet affair. If your spouse does want to talk about it, listen calmly.

The next step may seem corny but, it really does help. At the end of your talk, you and your spouse should write out your own faults and the things you will do to correct them. Just remember that nothing will be corrected overnight.

Next, write out an affirmation of your love for each other and a renewed commitment to make your marriage work. Both of you should sign this and put it in a place where you can both see it often. A good place is on the dresser in the bedroom or attached to a mirror in the bedroom. You should not put it in a public place.

Next, you have to forgive your spouse's transgressions. This is not easy but, it is very necessary. You will never forget this ordeal but, you must decide that you will move past it.

You have to make a personal commitment to never bring up the Internet affair again. This can be difficult especially during an argument. No matter what the situation, you must leave the cyber affair in the past.

Lastly, you have to pray. When you pray, it is important to pray about what you can do to help your marriage. Do not pray to change your spouse. Pray that your spouse can be the best person possible and that he or she can see the things they can do to make that happen. Pray that you can help your spouse in any way they need you to help.

Make God the center of your marriage. Pray and read the Bible together as a family every day. That is the real key to making any marriage a great one and any family a happy one!