Marriage and Child Support...Do They Go Hand in Hand?

Many individuals are faced with the impossible task of dealing with the ex. For some reason there is always one individual that can't digest a break up like they can last nights meal. Then to put the cherry on top, if there is a child involved the individual throws the child into the middle of the situation hoping that their act would create a road block and make the individual stay in the relationship. Well you chose to do different and move on with life. What happens next. You know as well as I do! CHILD SUPPORT IS REQUESTED! How can you cope? What are some steps that an individual should follow to prevent being caught up in the child support system?

1) Make all reasons of the break-up clear! Try to be respectful and civil. Explain your reasons and make them clear. Make sure they understand that you will be there to provide support. Make out (in almost blue print design, to show your seriousness) that you plan on being in your child's life. Do not make seeing your child or sending monetary support a holiday occasion; like their birthdays or Christmas. That is a sure fire way to get that case filed. No double dipping. Do not feel like having sex with he ex is a guarantee that your ex will not file child support. If its over, let it be just that...OVER! Be there to provide mental, physical and monetary support for your child. Make plans for daycare, sick days and school programs with he custodial parent. Also alert your new found love that you have a child and also make them aware that you send off monthly payments for your child. Consider the future as well. Make sure the amount you pay will not interferre with your monthly living expenses. Talk it over with your mate, that if job loss happens that there may be times where he or she may be needed to help keep you current on your support obligations. This can be a sticky mess, so its good to discuss this hot topic early in your relationship.

2) BE RESPONSIBLE! I must stress that your appearance in your child's life is just as important as the stars in the sky! Your child will love and respect you for it. One would suspect that a parent would want their child to remember the good about their them. Make sure you deliver on all your promises and payments. Make your support payments in MONEY ORDER FORM. Date and sign the receipts. Do not trust the custodial parent to be there on court day vouching for you, by saying you were making payments. The scene on court day is so ugly that the artist doesn't even want to paint the picture. Judges and lawyers everywhere juggling your future in their hands is quite an ugly vision.

3) If it goes to battle continue being responsible: OK, you have tried to be sensible, respectful and civil but it doesn't work. The individual has filed for support now what? Yes, I can understand you're upset and you feel you've being doing your part, but DON'T STOP NOW! Retain and attorney and let them handle all the legal issues. Continue to give the parent MONEY ORDER FORM child support payments. On the money order make sure in the "for" area you state that it is for child support; make a copy of the entire money order before handing it over to to the parent. Keep up with all your payments. This will be the extra(maybe the only) leg you stand on, once in court. If the parent denies you the privilege of seeing your child you may also see if your attorney can help you gain joint custody of your child. This will also give you the chance to claim your child on your taxes on terms set up by you and the custodial parent or the judge in regards to your case.

4) Make sure you pay the monthly amount ordered by the court! The courts have special formulas they adhere by when it comes to deciding what the non-custodial parents monthly support payment will be. You will still be able to live life, but if it cuts close or into other financial obligations, then part-time work may have to be obtained in order to keep your payments current. If you fall $5,000 behind on payments you have opened a new can of worms!

5) YOU HAVE FALLEN BEHIND AND NOW ITS A FELONY! If you fall $5,000 behind on the court ordered child support payments a warrant for your arrest will be issued. This is the states way of cracking down on dead beats to assure they provide care for their children. Learn what your state laws are in regards to child support. Punishment can range from probation to jail time! If you get probation, you lose your right to vote, you have to see a probation officer monthly. Other things you will be subjected to are: paying your states monthly intervention fees, and basically have your life open for all to see as if it were a prime time reality show. You will not even be able to travel unless you receive a travel permit. Yes, it will seem as if you are on lock down in your own state instead of a jail cell. You will also have your original order increased to help you catch up with your arrears.

6) Getting a new job or credit will be a hard task! Did you know that your credit will be subjected to endless inquiries until you have that past due amount caught up. Your past due child support is now a past due bill and it is applied to your credit report. Running inquiries will bring your credit score down and ruin your credit score. As far as employment, this is what will show up on your back ground report as: FELONY FOR NON-SUPPORT. What they (the employer) doesn't understand is that the sentence is suspend, pending imposition. That basically means that if you complete your probation and you meet all of their terms, that violation or charge will be erased from your background. This is no laughing matter, your lively hood is at stake now. This can hurt you and even hold you back from finding employment or credit.

7) DON"T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE! Each persons situation is their own. People tend to leave out some truths when they talk about their own lives or situations. Become an educated consumer. Just like you research computers, video games and cars before you purchase. Learn about your state laws in dealing with child support. If they terms confuse you then seek the advice of an attorney. Have all your questions written down, because some charge a fee for consultation and some don't.