Marriage and Families, Some Common Sense Advice that Actually Works!

Having been married for almost 2 decades, I am hardly an expert as to what works and what doesn't but I can tell you what has saved many a battle in our household and why it works so well with us.

Our marriage was a late one for both my husband and myself having waited until we were in our 30's to marry so obviously we were very set in our ways and very pigheaded as to opinions of others!

My family is a very "touchy" loving family full of demonstrations of love and affection and my husbands is quite the opposite (at least to me). It was hard for my husband to accept the affections of my parents but after awhile he began to warm up and at least to return hugs if not initiate them. I learned to wait for affection from my in laws and if none was forthcoming then to go with the moment and give them the space the needed at the time.

The subject of what to call the inlaws came up early in the marriage and as neither of us felt comfortable with another "Mother" or "Father" we began using proper names. This has worked out fine and all feel comfortable with the arrangement.

Next came holidays. The first major holiday was spent in our house although after all the confusion of 20 people crammed into a small house built for 4 we have never repeated the encounter. After that holiday my inlaws moved out of state and slowly we began spending Thanksgiving with them and Christmas with my parents. This was working out pretty well until one thing or another came in the way of the holiday and we had to decide what to do.

Now for the real subject of this article. We came to the understanding when we were first married that all decisions regarding holidays spent with families were left to the spouse of said family. For instance, Thanksgiving was my husbands decision as to whether we went or not and if we did where we would stay and and so forth. Christmas was my decision etc.

The other minor holidays were left mostly up to chance and so far we have agreed on most issues.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always easy making the decisions surrounding a holiday but we agreed to agree with the spouse and have a unified front in all decisions.

So far it has worked and I pray it will continue. The holidays are stressful enough without having arguments within the family about one thing or another. So if you are looking for a way to try to stop the craziness surrounding family holidays...try our way. Who knows, it just may work for you too!