Marriage: A Lost Art?

Should marriage be considered a sacred institution? Let's pull this question apart and examine it a little further. The word marriage describes a union between two people who wish to dedicate themselves solely to each other. The word sacred has a little more flexibility with its meaning. It could pertain to religious beliefs, or it could mean simply respect. Institution here means a practice, something that is done. So, let's revisit our expansion of the question from "should marriage be considered a sacred institution" to "should a union between two people be considered a respectful practice." I left the religious belief part out of the question because a lot of people don't practice religious ceremonies anymore. This newly expanded question leaves a lot of room for thought. Is this question asking if marriage itself is even a practice that should be done?

The practice of marriage now is much different than it was a few decades ago. Divorce is more common now than it was then. People don't consider marriage as serious now because they think that if it doesn't work out, they could just get divorced - no big deal. Decades ago, people married because they loved one another and wanted to vow to be loyal to one another for the rest of their lives in the eyes of God. Modern marriages are usually done now with two people who either think they love each other or really like each other, and want to show they really care for each other for the rest of their...er...until marriage gets too rough. A lot of marriages now are done without worrying whether or not the people involved are getting married in the eyes of God. Marriage is just a legal way to show someone you care for another person.

Showing legal proof of being in a committed relationship makes some parts of life a little easier. Since you are married, you can speak on your husband's behalf if needed, inherit his money if something should happen, buy a house more easily, and sue your husband if he doesn't pony up the dough for child support. If you weren't married, anyone on your man's side of the family could dispute that you were even that big of a part of his life and might speak for him, inherit his money and property, and maybe even take his child. A marriage is a way in the eyes of government to say his stuff is mine, my stuff is his and instead of being "I" we are now "we."

In my personal experiences and in other experiences of people I know, I have learned that marriage is difficult, to say the least. You have to commit to being married every day. Every daily activity that you do, you constantly think of how it will affect your husband. If I want to go to a movie, first I have to tell my husband so he's not wondering where I am. He'll ask who I'm going with, and when I tell him that I'm going alone, he'll wonder why and ask questions: Why didn't I invite him? Am I mad at him? Why don't I call up one of my friends to go with me so that I'm not alone? What time does our son need to eat? In marriages, there are disagreements and arguments and sometimes, when you are the most mad, you think "this was a mistake to marry this man," or "this isn't going to last long if it keeps going this way." Marriage is something that has to be constantly worked on - damaged, fixed, repaired. A lot of hard feelings and doubt and anger go into a marriage, and if there are two people out there - any two people who are willing to vow to be with someone the rest of their lives, then they should be.

Government officials are worried that gay marriage would ruin this "sacred institution" of marriage. As I have said before, if two men or women are willing to tough out a marriage for forty, fifty or sixty years, they should be able to. Government officials should rethink what is ruining the "sacredness" of marriage. If they looked closely enough, they would find out the death of marriages is divorce and possibly the absence of religion. Even though I'm not religious, and my marriage ceremony wasn't religious, marriages should have some guidelines and rules that religion brings to the idea of marriage. I read somewhere that one-third of marriages end in divorce. "Irreconcilable differences" is the number one reason of failed marriages that is put on the divorce paperwork. Instead of putting such non-descript vocabulary on the paperwork, the divorce attorneys should just write, "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so have decided marriage is too hard, and want to be divorced." Most failed marriages happen because people have too hard of a time being married; however, there are specific situations that marriages should end. Abuse is one of them. Whether it is physical, emotional or sexual, abuse to any partner in a marriage should allow the victim to leave the marriage and never look back. As soon as people step over the single/married line, there is no going back to the single side. If your marriage doesn't last for some reason or another, and you are filling out paperwork at your doctor's office and have to check a married box, you would never be able to check that single box again. You would either have to check separated, divorced or widowed. Marriage is a lost art that should be review.