Marriage: No Longer Built Ford Tough

Did you know that the Average Divorce Rate in Tennessee for November 2007 consisted of 6,966 Divorces?

Ideally in a perfect world people would find their one special person to love, cherish, and spend the rest of their life with.

In this perfect world, the couple would then get married, buy a home somewhere that is ideal for raising children, have their 2.5 children, one dog, one cat, and grow old together. And they as husband and wife would have found their own happily ever after.

In an amazing show of statistics, more than 50% of marriages are unharmonious and lead to divorce within two to four years after getting married. This research also shows that finances are usually the main reason where it all begins. The research is now the national average marriage only lasts two years. A lot of people are now asking themselves "What is the point?" Many couples today are opting for cohabiting instead of taking formal vows. After my own marriage taking a turn for the worst I began to investigate this matter further through friends, co-workers, and long time aquatences from school and discovered it to be right on the money. Even close friends couldn't make their marriages work. I often wondered what silent phenom causes this lack of desire to stay married? Is it a hormone in our genetic makeup that needs supplimented? What gives?

Serious changes are needed and instead of home economics being taught in school, we need basic life skills preparation to be taught from an early age. It does no worldly good to learn sewing or who the President of the United Sates was in 1945 but not teach a single thing regarding marital skills.

When two people get married the idea of it is that the two people are equal and yet still individual at the same time. In most cases, it is usually not this way.

Most relationships are started as a friendship and then slowly progress into some form of intimacy. That isn't usually until after the relationship has been developed that the family becomes involved. And usually after a couple has been together for a while they have children together.

After the divorce a whole new set of problems arise. Once a marriage ends in divorce that will be the beginning of new problems for the third, fourth, or however many generations that follow.

People in society must be the lines to bring an end to this ever popular way of doing things when it comes to marriage.

If you are from a home with a broken marriage and get married yourself you think that you'll be the one in the family to not repeat the mistakes that your parents made but oftentimes it happens anyway and can sometimes be unavoidable.

In order to change this statistic our views on marriage must change. And this will not happen overnight. In fact we have two or three serious generations of beliefs that have been carried down that also need to change in order to make things right.

If violence is involved, a child that is raised in an insecure atmosphere that it will develop feelings of inadequacy regarding itself and the outside world. It will learn to distrust everyone including itself. If the child is raised around a parent that has emotional challenges then the child will often develop emotional issues as well. If the child is raised around a parent that is controlling them the child will develop controlling tendencies as well. It is a cycle that must be stopped in order for things to change. Watching the relationships of friends and family members dissolve right before my eyes is tough to handle.

In the same retrospect; if a child has raised around parents who co-operate with one another and are patient and considerate with one another than the child will learn to cooperate and they will grow up to find a husband or wife that they can cooperate with and love.

Children who do not feel love and attention will not know how to love closely when they become adults and may not love the right way or may develop violent or co-dependent relationships. So this whole process begins with the parents and ends with the children.

Relationships throughout the World must change or the idea of harmonious marriages will be lost forever.

In order for a marriage to be harmonious will take a lot of serious work from both people involved. Not just from one of you or the other, but from both of you equally as partners, because there is no such thing as you or me in a marriage unless the ego is involved. It is also not about what he will do or what she will do but what you will do together.

The same goes for raising the children. A lot of parents today do what is commonly called absentee parenting or parenting by proxy, which can be a close relative such as a grandparent, babysitter, or day care facility and then sometimes these parents wonder why when something goes wrong, or their child goes down the wrong path, or they try to place blame on everyone else for how their children turned out but themselves. When actually theses people have had very little input into the actual programming of the children.

So now you see what you do when your marriage will affect at least the next generation and it is all up to you to make the right choices today because they are what will make or break your children's future tomorrow.