Marriage Plans Unfold for Same-Sex Couple as Prop. 8 Stay is Lifted

When you fall in love, you eventually start thinking about marriage. It's just a natural step for most people. But if you want to marry someone of the same gender, it becomes a circus sideshow, full of denials by the state you live in and ridicule by people who are adamantly against same-sex marriage.

Judge Vaughn Walker lifted the stay on same-sex marriages yesterday after his ruling last week that Prop. 8 is unconstitutional. The stay will lift on Aug. 18 - Prop. 8 supporters have until then to file appeals. I am optimistic that same-gender marriage will resume when the stay ends. I have to believe that because I love my partner so much that not being married to her is not an option for me. I was unable to wait at the courthouse personally for the decision from Judge Walker, but I rallied online at Facebook with others who live in Bakersfield. Our local LGBTQ leader was waiting at the courthouse and posted updates so everyone online would be in the know. We had butterflies in our stomachs when 12 p.m. came and went with no decision posted. A few minutes after noon, Judge Walker released his decision and excited us all. Last night, we gathered at a LGBTQ-friendly establishment to celebrate.

I met my girlfriend in June 2008, right after gay marriage became legal. We fell in love as we fought to have Prop. 8 denied. We stood on corners holding signs together; we went to fundraisers to get others to see how wrong the proposition was. On election night in November 2008, we gathered with other LGBTQ members waiting for results.

When Prop. 8 was passed, I was heartbroken, as was the rest of the LGBTQ community. Some people had fire in their blood trying to decide what their next step should be. Others, like me, were deflated. It's hard fighting for something you believe in only to find out that a little more than half of the people in your state think that you and your family are unimportant and you don't deserve to get married because you are in love with another woman. Every cloud has a silver lining, though, and it gave the gay community hope that Prop. 8 passed with 52 percent of the vote. That means not as many people oppose gay marriage as they used to. The next time it's on the ballot? Things could change...

I've never been married. I want to experience it. I love my partner and I want it all. I'm tired of comments from people who think domestic partnership is enough or that we should just live together without any legal commitments. That's fine for some, but when I ask those same people if they'd be happy with those arrangements, they start sputtering that they don't have to even think about it. After all, they've been allowed to legally get married all along. In their eyes, just because I am a lesbian, I don't deserve the same rights.

My partner and I can now plan our wedding. We could wait for the results on Aug. 18, but in my heart I know it's time. Time to plan the wedding of our dreams that will unite us completely. It'll be a small wedding, but everyone I love will be there, as well as members of the LGBTQ community. My girlfriend and I will be wearing pretty but simple dresses. My grandpa will walk me down the aisle. I will be sharing my happy day with the people who matter the most. I will just be a normal woman marrying the woman of her dreams.