Marriage & Relationships: First Wife, Second Wife

Depending on how you look at it you're either fortunate or unfortunate to have experienced both. I know many can relate to this. Most people nowadays are on their second or third marriage. I thought I would share with you some of the trials and tribulations, and sometimes joy, of being a "First" and "Second". Disclaimer: These are fictitious people and instances and do not apply to me or any particular person or animal (yeah right).

The First Wife-

Ahhh, the prestige of it all, no one came before me, well at least not in the marriage department. Yes, there is a certain status to being the "First Wife". No one can call you you're a failure, at least not yet. There's no comparison to a former wife, so chances are you will be the best wife he ever had. Hopefully, there's no prior kids, such as in my case, so there's no kiddies to fight over. I know, that's a little idealistic these days. However, I was born in the dinosaur days, so we got married first and then had children. What a novel idea! You make great plans for the death do us part thing, even matching cemetery plots. Isn't a lifetime long enough to be with someone, no less after death? Okay, so I started out with this being a serious article and I screwed up. My regular readers will totally understand, they have already come to accept I have a twisted sense of humor. For the rest of you, get use to it!

You most definitely get to skip the part of worrying that that he's thinking maybe he made a mistake and really does want to go back to his first wife. Never mind this weird thing that goes on with too many people nowadays thinking they just have to sleep with their EX one more time. What part of EX don't they understand?

One of the biggest and most intolerable things about being the first wife is you get to go through all the tough times, scrimping, and saving, and oh those many coupons in order to survive, while he is climbing the corporate ladder. You get to go through his struggles with life, and him finding himself (seek and ye shall find). You may have made it all the way to his mid-life crisis. OOOPS, here comes the second wife! Yes, after all those years of trials and tribulations then some "Bimbo", I mean "YOUNG" woman is going to come along and get all the goodies. Yup, "Life Ain't Fair".

The Second Wife-

It's your choice to believe whether hand me downs are better than the real enchilada. In my case the second marriage was kind of like being trapped in a Star Trek movie on some distant alien planet. Yeah, it was that good! The second wife makes you wonder who has the courage to this at all. After all the chances of someday, somewhere, somehow being compared to the first wife is a bet I don't want to miss out on. Yeah, I know they always profess their first was a real "Witch" (insert B if you wish). Yet, it always seems like when their losing an argument big time, have run out of intelligent answers, their sweet, adoring, love to have sex continuously first wife is brought up. So is it really true, or do they just hate losing arguments, and love to see us suffer because we're smarter? Who knows?

The second wife unless passed menopause, almost always have to put up with "HER", the first wife, because of their kids together. I remember one day in my 2nd marriage where my husband spent a little too much laughter filled moments on the phone with his first wife. I mean really, his youngest kid was 13, I think he could have talked to the kids instead. Get my drift? Then there's "Their" family functions. Do you realize how many there are between holidays, birthdays, sports, school, and on and on? Your choice is to go, or sit at home wondering what position there in, while they're hiding in the upstairs closet.

Don't get me wrong the second wife does have some positives. Hopefully you're where it ends with the mid-life crisis, that can be comforting. When you first start out he really does think you're so much better than his first wife. Remember I said at first. Usually, you don't have to put up with as much financial struggles as the first wife did, unless of course she put him through the ringer, and she's collecting more alimony than the national debt. At first the sex can be Hot. You're something new after so many years with just her. Always remember, you will eventually be "The Wife", and chances are you're sex life will be just like very other couple who has been married for a long, long, long time.

Okay, let's face it I could go on forever with this, and it did seem like my life was for awhile, but I'm going to quit while I'm ahead. I would like to leave at least some hope for those who are crazy enough o get married in the first place. Now, now, I haven't given up on marriage just yet. I have decided to take the plunge one more time. That's if I can find somebody worthy of me (this is not arrogance, but a well tuned sense of self-esteem). However, being the baseball fan (Go METS), that I am, I believe it's 3 strikes and your out, marriage that is!