Marriage Restoration Basics

Today I would like to take some time to address those who are standing for their marriages to be restored. I would first like to let you know that you are not alone and that standing for your marriage to be restored may be the calling that God has placed on your life. This may be the ministry in which, God himself has placed you. There are many times of great joy that can be found during this seemingly roller coaster ride of emotions. When standing for a spouse to return home to reconcile the marriage, it is important that you keep your eyes fixed on God and you. Allowing His supernatural power to soak into the depths of your circumstances and change them for HIS glory. Marriage restoration is possible with God, for all things are possible with Him!

Marriage Restoration Question # 1) Should "I" do something drastic, like file for divorce in hopes of bringing my spouse back to his/her senses?

There are things that you can do to save your marriage, but filing for divorce or ordering your spouse to move out of the family dwelling will only make things worse. It is important to realize that whatever the circumstances you face, personally, the tough love approach often does more harm than good. It is important to see that there is an ever growing battle for our marriages and it is not against flesh and blood! Prayer is imperitive to healing a marriage, even if the separation has already occurred. But the main focus should be getting yourself right with the Lord and earnestly seeking restoration of both you and your spouse back to the Lord over all else, while praying for God to bring you back together, because God hates divorce.

Marriage Restoration Question # 2) What if my spouse is involved with another person? Doesn't that break the marriage vow?

The Bible is clear that adultery is wrong, but the Bible NEVER commands the offended spouse to get a divorce because of adultery. It is a common misconception that adultery breaks a marriage vow to one another. If this were true, then even thinking for a moment of another person would make the marriage broken, since it is considered adultery to even look "at a woman with lust" Further more, Jesus responded to the Pharisees by saying that this is not how it was in the begining, and says it is only a concession to hard heart hardness, which is unforgivness. As Christians we are commanded to forgive one another, so while adultery can be grounds for divorce, if your heart is hardened, it is certainly not mandatory, since forgivness would be preferred.

Marriage Restoration Question # 3) But my spouse won't even talk to me and he/she even told me they will never come back home, isn't it obvious it is over?

It is said that God makes things look impossible so that when He performs His miracle, we will know it was only Him who could have done it, therefore giving God all the glory. There are countless testimonies of marriages who have had a spouse who's heart was hard, and then softened by God's master touch ending with the reuniting of both spouses, fully restored to a loving marriage. Think of everything your spouse says as nothing more than a distraction. Do you remember the story of when Jesus had Peter walk on the water? Peter got out of the boat and starting walking towards Jesus, but his circumstances (the storms and wind) caught Peters attention. As soon as Peter took his eyes off of Jesus he began to sink. He was distracted by "evidence" that he couldn't make it all the way. Our circumstances, no matter how stormy, can be fixed when our eyes are on Jesus and His promises. He will turn your spouses heart of stone into flesh and give them a new heart, but He's going to work on you first, so get ready!

Sources:

www.faithandmarriageministries.org