Marriage Vs. "Civil Union" for Same Sex Couples

A poll on gay rights just out today indicates "mixed views" on Lesbian and Gay rights. Four states have now legalized Lesbian and Gay marriages and several others have legislation pending. This latest poll was conducted by Quinnipiac University's polling institute.

Even though the commentary with the poll claims "mixed views," the survey shows remarkable consistency in the main categories:

56 to 37 percent of those polled support allowing Lesbians and Gays to serve openly in the military.

55 to 38 percent do not want their state to allow Lesbian and Gay marriages.

57 to 38 percent support "civil unions."

53 to 40 percent support allowing same-sex couples to adopt children.

It is encouraging that the numbers show more than 50 percent of the respondents support for three of the four areas defined by the poll as "Gay Issues." Still, the opposing percentages are significant. Based on the poll, it is fair to say that these are dynamic issues still very much in a state of change and moving toward more positive attitudes. Such a poll taken 15 or even 10 years ago would probably have been much more negative.

Since President Obama supports lifting the ban on open military service and public opinion is moving toward more support, that issue will probably be resolved in time.

The marriage issue, however, is mired in heavy emotional baggage and irrational fears whipped up by some religious leaders and pandering politicians seeking a "safe" issue.

For better or worse, marriage is both religious and civil. Regardless of the law, various churches will, no doubt, decide the issue based on their own beliefs. It is ridiculous to think that any laws passed in any state, for example, will influence the Pope or the College of Cardinals. It will probably be a good long time before same sex marriages are legitimized and sanctified by the Catholic Church.

It is equally ridiculous and unsupportable to think that allowing Lesbians and Gays to marry will somehow diminish matrimony between heterosexual couples. If the value of marriage depends upon who is excluded from participation, then marriage is already severely diminished.

The laws enacted by the individual states, however, are another matter. Marriage confers upon a couple status and rights not available by any other means. The specific rights and conditions granted by "civil unions" would not be consistent from one state to another and would not necessarily translate as the same or equal benefits conferred upon married couples by the federal government.

In fact, if "civil unions" were intended to confer the all rights, benefits, and status of marriage, what would be the point? Allowing the full benefits of marriage to same sex couples through "civil unions" would then be merely a petulant redundancy. "Civil Unions" only make sense if they specifically deny some benefits of marriage. In every context, the concept of "separate but equal" is always a lie.

In addition, it is profoundly inconsistent to oppose same sex marriage and support adoption of children by same sex couples. This allows the children to have the benefit of parents and a home without the status of family. It is a profoundly contradictory position.

Surely, it is important to grant both those who adopt children and the children they adopt the status, rights, and protections granted to legally recognized families in the United States.

Finally, at the most fundamental level, this poll and any other poll on this issue is utterly irrelevant. Civil rights are not and must not ever be determined by popular opinion and not by vote -- not for women, not for any racial or ethnic group, and not for Lesbians and Gays.

Like it or not, Lesbians and Gays are citizens of this country who hold jobs and pay taxes and vote. Just as all other citizens, they are entitled to all the rights and benefits of citizenship and to all the benefits and protections guaranteed by the Constitution. That surely must include the right to marry, to adopt children, and to enjoy the full status of family in this society.