Married Life: After the Honeymoon

The big day is over, you have went on your honeymoon and now life as a married couple begins. Believe it or not your life is going to change as you know it. Being a wife and or husband is much different then being a fiance and engaged. You know all those Questions You Should Ask Your Fiance Before You Get Married, and did not, your going to have to work together to find the answers now.

No More Center of Attention

Some new brides may find it a bit of a let down after the wedding and honeymoon. All the attention you received from family and friends rallying around you, and helping you plan your big day is now over. The fairy tale wedding and the " I do's", are complete. Now it is back to work and the daily normal routine of life. If your feeling the after the wedding blues, do not feel bad, your not alone. It is normal to have those feelings. As time passes those feelings will lessen and eventually fade all together. It is understandable that so much attention for so long was focused totally on you, that you might feel a bit left out when life returns to normal.

Sleeping Habits

It is the middle of the night, your freezing and wake up. You have married a blanket snatcher. Yes it is true we all have different sleeping habits. You might be surprised when you find out some of the habits your new spouse possesses. Remember how lovely it was to cuddle? Well now you have to get up at 5 a.m. to get ready for work, and your finding it hard to sleep with someone laying almost on top of you. Better yet, their snoring is keeping you up all night. Welcome to the real world. Just because you love someone does not mean your going to love everything about them. It will take some time to adjust to each others sleeping habits. You might need to buy your own blanket, or purchase a bottle of snore ease for you new spouse. Rest assured that you will get used to each others habits. Soon you will not even notice the snoring. It all just takes time.

The Toothpaste Cap and the Toilet Seat

The man or women you married does not know what a toothpaste cap is. Now matter how many times you replace it, you find it laying on the counter and toothpaste oozing everywhere. Your trying to get used to that, when suddenly you find yourself falling into the toilet seat in the middle of the night. Your new husband is used to living alone and does not put the lid down. These two little things might not bother you at first. You kindly replace the cap, and start remembering to check the seat in the middle of the night before you sit down. I guarantee you after a year your going to start resenting those little things. All those annoying little things you and your spouse are doing, will drive you both nuts. It really is simple. If it is a matter of a toothpaste cap, a toilet seat, or always picking up dirty clothes on the floor, if it is bothering you talk about it. Such little things can add up to huge things if you do not catch them early. In truth, your spouse probably does not even realize that they are doing it. Just make sure you leave the lines of communication open. Talk about the little stuff. Do not accuse or belittle your spouse for doing them. Just let them know that it would be helpful if they would put the cap back on, put down the seat, or pick up the dirty clothes. Married life is an adjustment for both partners. Do not let the "Mole hills turn into Mountains", as they say. Work the little stuff out and remember you might have to be flexible on some things too.

Sharing and Giving Up Some Independence

Yes sharing might be difficult, especially when your used to doing something by yourself all the time. We all get into habits and routines. When your single you depend a lot on yourself. Relinquishing even a little bit of control to someone might be difficult at first. Your a married couple now. Big purchases, choosing a color to paint the walls, and even furniture might be something you have to share with your spouse. The words me and mine that you are used to has turned into the word ours. Marriage is a partnership, you have to work together to make big decisions. Leaving your spouse out might hurt their feelings, or make them feel as they are not important enough to ask. Their are benefits to working together. You can get twice as much accomplished, and it does make you stronger as a couple.

Romance

You might find that romantic evenings are not as common as they once were. The biggest mistake you can make is assuming it is because of something you have done. When you start settling into married life it is normal not to have as much romance as you did when you were dating. You can not live in the honeymoon stage forever. People have to work, clean the house, mow the yard, and cook. Life can be tiring sometimes. You need to sleep and a quiet evening at home is nice. This does not mean romance is dead. In fact because your settling into married life means you have to pay special attention to keep it alive. Planning is the key. Make sure you still have date night. Plan a romantic evening or a get away weekend once in awhile. This will help keep your marriage fresh and exciting.

Marriage is a Partnership

The key to remember is marriage is a partnership. You truly have to work together to keep it healthy and alive. Nothing is ever easy. If you go into marriage thinking you will never have to work on anything, you will be in love forever and that is all that matters, you are in for a big surprise. No matter how much you love each other life happens. Work, chores, and eventually children will all be added to the picture. It is how you work together to adjust that is important. Always keep the lines of communication open. Be honest with each other, and letting your partner know how you feel. I have seen so many beautiful marriages fail, just because the couple did not talk to each other. One felt lonely and drifted away, only to return and find out their spouse did love them, he or she just did not take the time to tell or show them. Marriage can be a wonderful thing. Spending your life with someone you love, and who loves you. Working together to conquer the world. In a good marriage you gain strength from one another. Work together and your marriage will always be strong, and stand the test of time.