Marry Your Ex? Four Good Reasons to Consider It
First, being involved with people you don't know can be scary. You can't predict whether the person politely sitting across from you at the fancy restaurant is going to become dangerous if it doesn't work out. But you know your ex is not psychotic, or if they are you know you have only yourself to blame when they burn down your house. At the very least you know how many fire extinguishers you need to keep on hand.
You know how to please each other sexually. You may also find he or she has learned some new moves in the bedroom since you broke up. Can you sleep with your ex without being jealous and wondering where they have been? Yes, if you think of your ex as a brand new lover. After all, hopefully you both have grown and neither of you are the exact same person you once knew. So when you marry your ex, you get the wonderful combination of comfortable sex mixed with everyone's favorite, new and exciting sex.
You get that rare chance to do it all over again differently. Whether you put your ex out of your mind they day you broke up or you have carried a torch for them all this time, elements of your ensuing relationships were attempts to make your ex happy by proxy. Assuming you have learned from your mistakes, you now have a chance to make up for past transgressions with your ex. And this time, you know what makes them happy or what upsets them.
Finally, you will have one less ex. If, like most people, you are a serial monogamist, you obviously have a string of failed relationships in your past. When you look through vacation mementos your exes are in all the snapshots. When you see movies for the second time you know who you saw them with the first time. Hell, when you look around your house you either see things you bought together or the spaces where those things used to be.
On bad days it can seem like all relationships are fated to end. If you marry your ex, he or she will become in your mind your current partner instead of being remembered as one more failure. And since he or she chose to come back to you, you know that romantically you must have done at least one thing right.
Published by Erin L
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10 Comments
Post a CommentI'd be mortified if I married any of my exes. We broke up for a reason. I do believe in staying friends, though, but not the type of friends who get drunk and married in Vegas. You do come across stories of high school sweethearts meeting years later and falling in love all over again, and I think its sweet. Its also an excellent plot for an ABC Family Original movie. Love this article, though.
Why in the world would I ever want to do that. This horrible person took all of my money and left me with the credit card bills she aquired! We have two sons and of course she made me pay max always with the lies. Then when the money stopped because the boys are over 18. She said "maybe, you and I should get back together" Gross! besides all of this she has no hair now. She has alopecia. which I truly feel sorry for her there and she feels unattractive and needs another 10,000 dollar suction cup wig!
They say an ex is an ex for a reason.
I am currently trying to reconcile with my ex after 7 years of being divorced. We had not spoken in 6 years. One day out of the blue he called to apologize for the mistakes that he made and to see how I was doing. I had forgiven him months after the split but at the time decided the divorce was best. We both have now "grown" up and become different people but kept the best parts of our personalities intact. During this whole 7 years that we have been divorced, we have both thought of each other on a daily basis and longed to be with each other again one day. We were friends even through the divorce, we never had an hatred for each other. We just moved on with other things in our lives. We are now ready to build a stronger better relationship that the one we had before. (it wasnt a bad relationship to begin with, just a few mistakes) I have always loved him and always will. He feels the same.
I say it depends on the couple. If your willing to forgive completely for anythi
I'm happily married, so I would never dream of marrying an ex! The idea is repulsive to me.
Sophie
I'm glad to hear that, Kirsten. Lots of luck for the second time around!
It just depends on the couple. My ex and I are remarrying in a week. We were very young and stupid when we first got married and ran into problems we felt we couldnt' fix. It was stupid to have ever filed. We started "marriage" counseling 2 months after our divorce went through. Go figure. Live and learn. lol. At the same time, there are couples that remarry that definitely should NOT. So it just depends on the couple and what happened to get them divorced the first time. I figure, if I can change what I was doing and make it work with someone else, why not do that for the first one I promised my all to? Interesting article.
Good article. Getting together with an ex can have a positive impact; my friend just married her ex. I'm happy for her and glad she didn't let him get away again.
Maybe because we are glutton for punishment
I'd love to have at least one less ex. Interesting arguments.