Matthew's Story: A Christian Persecuted by Christians

Over the last several years my friend, Matthew, has been doing a lot of soul searching. He and I have engaged in a few pretty lengthy and sometimes "heated" discussions that have sometimes really pushed the limits of our friendship. Thankfully these conversations have strengthened our relationship - and provided us with unique chance at raising our awareness on different issues.

Matthew came up to me a few months ago with something new to discuss. He told me he had been upset, and until recently he wasn't able to discuss it. I could tell this problem was especially burdensome: Matthew was extremely pissed. He was truly suffering, and it was time now for him to start heaving the stone from his chest.

Betrayed by Christians, Anger & Resentment Followed

This stone has to do specifically with the really rough start and tough times he has endured as a Christian. He tells me he has been persecuted as a Christian. While one most often thinks of Christian persecution in terms of injustices instigated by outside oppressors, Matthew tells me the attacks he has endured have come from a most unlikely and insidious source.

Matthew's attackers were his fellow Christians.

As Matthew would say it, he was really and truly angry for being persecuted by Christians for being a Christian, and for following Christianity in his own special way. Matthew feels deeply betrayed and resentful. He tells me, the fact these attacks would come from his brothers and sisters is especially injurious.

Ugliness into Beauty

Over these last few months Matthew and I have talked this over. While talking with me, he was visibly extremely angry, and his words were punctuated generously with his favorite expletives. Being the older of the two of us, and having experienced injustice in different venues, I told him of something that had been helpful for me in the past. I told Matthew he was going to have to struggle on this a bit. I told him that while he could heal himself, at the same time (if he wished) he could also have the unique and rare chance to empower the healing process in such a way as to turn it into something beautiful.

He laughed cynically at first, but stopped when he saw how seriously I meant this. Matthew voiced his bafflement at this idea, but I asked him to be patient and hear me out...

I told him again, "Matthew, you are going to have to achieve the impossible, something you have never done before: find a way to turn these acts of injustice into an your unique act of love and healing."

I told him to think and pray over this task: How could he possibly turn his pain into something beautiful?

A Way to Transform: Share Your Story

A week or so later, he came back to me and said he was stumped - which is just fine. I never told him this would be easy. So we talked a while. I asked him about how he would define himself. He immediately spoke of himself as a Christian. He truly sees himself as a follower of Christianity, but that he differed with many other Christians on some of its tenets.

"So, what are the major tenets of Christianity?" I asked. He listed them off, and when he got to the idea of "charity", I said "bingo".

Matthew is the kind of guy who offers to help heft furniture and boxes when friends move their homes. To help the baristas at the coffee shop he frequents as a customer, he takes out the garbage as a kind gesture. I could easily envision Matthew escorting an old lady across a street to safety. Point is: Matthew likes to help people.

I suggested that Matthew consider sharing his story somehow as a way to help others- perhaps others who had suffered at the hands of fellow Christians also. Perhaps he could transform his debilitating role as a victim, and turn his example into a tool of healing for others? This idea appealed to Matthew as it fit in with the Christian tenet of charity, as well as provide him with a chance to be useful to others in a way he never thought imaginable.

Afterwards, he told me he had spoken with his group at church at an open discussion about his past difficulty as a Christian (something he had never shared in an open venue before). He said he was able to hear a few other church members chime in sympathetically, citing their similar stories.

Matthew returned to me visibly quite brightened, and told me he wanted to "take the next step". He said some of the others in his group suggested he record the story of his struggle and then share on a larger venue. They said: What better way than to do this on the web? Through a blog, a chat room, whatever. Matthew thought this was a great idea.

But there were a few obstacles in Matthew's way.

How to Share the Story?

While Matthew is quite articulate in person, he is also fidgety, nervous, likes to smoke and drink loads of caffeine. For him to sit and work something out on paper incites the unruly rebel within: too much for him to handle.

On top of this, Matthew is also a luddite: he shuns computers and the entire technology idea. Knowing somehow that the web commands a large readership, Matthew wanted to record his story and publish it. Thus, Matthew came to me asking for help.

After some discussion, this is what we worked out.

"Role Play"

I told Matthew to pretend he was some gumshoe reporter who found Matthew's story very interesting and who was willing to ask questions, record his answers, and publish them as a story. I told him to write down the questions this reporter would ask him, and to jot a few bullet points on how he would answer them.

He asked, "Why do you want me to play the separate roles as reporter and as myself?"

I told him, "Because by playing a reporter, you will be able to have a perspective of objectivity. You will be able to report on how you felt in a more matter-of-fact manner and thus reduce the chance of clouding the whole interview with your anger."

He wasn't sure what I meant. So I said, "Just try it and see what happens."

The Complete Interview: "Matthew's Story"

After going through a few drafts on this routine, he and I felt there was enough to go on for a "complete interview", and as a next step I was to help him flesh out the answers into fuller detail and make ready for publication. At the last minute decided it should be a "proper story", and wanted to throw out the Q&A interview format. We made further changes, and so it has transformed from an interview and grown more into a story: his story about persecution as a Christian, persecuted by other Christians.

So...

In reading Matthew's story, please know it has been toned down a lot. It was formerly charged with Matthew's many expletives, now removed . Matthew wants to make it clear: he was very angry (justifiably so), thus his story is laced with anger and diatribe. But with the help of his good friends he's "getting over it now".

This said, you can now go to Matthew's story by clicking here...

- Couca