May 1, 2008 KILL the WABBIT?

Have I mentioned lately that I live in the woods? We have hawks, buzzids, coyotes, fox, bear, lynx, raccoon, fisher cats, pine martins, and all sorts of weasel type creatures. When I told my son to put his miniature lop eared rabbit outside I was happy we had the hutch with wire sides, a locking door, and legs holding it off the ground making it more difficult to attack. I felt bad that it would have to live in a 2x4 rectangle after having a 5x5 square in the basement all winter. I told Seventeen he would have to put the rabbit in the play yard for a few hours every day to interact and exercise.

Since Seventeen, like all kids of all ages, was less enamored with his pet after one week never mind one year I wasn't surprised when he started begrudgingly taking him out and leaving him alone in the play yard for a few hours while he talked on the phone, played video games, watched Law And Order, and smashed together leftovers in an attempt to make something he deemed fine dining.

One night last week I was doing dishes and I looked out the window and caught a glimpse of the poor little bunny out there in the increasing cold and darkness. Seventeen had gone out so I put him away. While I know he isn't afraid of the dark and he has a fur coat he isn't used to the evil dog like things that come out of the dark looking at him like a Scooby Snack instead of a playmate as our dogs do and he isn't used to not having hay to burrow in when it gets too cold for his fur coat.

Some of you can see where this is going. It happened last night. As I was leaving I looked out the siding glass door and saw Lopster (that's what I call the bunny) hopping around the play yard. I considered yelling to 17 to remember him but decided against it since he usually huffs and puffs and tells me off because he "knows" and has he "ever forgotten before?" Yeah, last week. But he needed to be responsible and I need to be less controlling. This morning he came into my room and asked if I had put the rabbit away last night. No. I guess he thought I was lying because he went outside and checked the cage.

Though my husband combed the property and the neighbor's about once an hour all he found was a garter snake and an orange and white Nerf ball buried in the grass just enough to resemble the bunny and get his heart rate up. Twice in my life I have seen domestic rabbits surviving in the wild. Once at moms but they didn't last long and eventually we called the dog officer to come and save the last one's cottontail. And on Block Island there are several but none of those things listed above live on the island. It might be pertinent to note that both times the animals were the 20 pound type of rabbits and even as white beacons in the green grass they were too large and/or too fast to be picked off. Lopster is two pounds, his ears hang low, and when he hops they wobble to and fro...like two white flags giving the international sign for come eat me.

I feel awful. My first thought was how mortified he must have been when he realized the fuzzy nose sniffing him wasn't his friend but his end. My husband and sons think if they look out the door enough they will eventually catch a glimpse of the little guy hopping home. I'll happily post a retraction if that ever happens. Don't hold your breath.

MAY 2, 2008 WASCALLY WABBIT DEFIES DEATH

I retract my statements of yesterday. That's right the wascally wabbit is alive and kicking and back in his hutch. Can you say That's Incredible !

As I passed by the sliding glass door this morning I saw a white blur out of the corner of my eye. It was Lopster running circles around his hutch in the rain. I couldn't believe my eyes! Could he have really survived two nights alone in this wild place? I jumped into some shoes and ran out the front door and around the back of the house. The backdoor leads out to a locked deck and it would have taken time to fumble through the locks. Even so seconds later when I got to the backyard he was gone.

I'm guessing the not so graceful galumphing that passes as my oompa loompa like body running scared him off. You know that scene in Jurassic park where the puddle shakes with the approaching footsteps of the T-Rex? I'm betting my running is like that to a bunny. I stood dazed and confused staring at the grass where I had seen him when I heard rustling to my right. There he was! Running for all he was worth, like Bugs Bunny in slow motion, all elongated and graceful. It was a new look for what I had always considered a rather round animal. Especially when sitting in his play yard beheading violets.

I'm running again, thinking how unpleasant it will be if one of those red prickly vines taking over the yard trips me up and I fall face first in the rain and mud into a whole wad of them. My next thought was I should have gone out the pool way and grabbed the telescoping pole with the net on it as it's not looking good for the galumphing oompa loompa catching the bounding bunny.

Dogs know their names. Some people think cats do too. I've never met one who did. I've heard arguments made for horses knowing but like cats I'd have to say they react like Pavlov's dog to the sound they associate with food. Or, in the cat's case, abject humiliation as the human once again tries to get the cat to do what they want. Here kitty, kitty, kitty. No dummy, dummy, dummy. In a moment of utter insanity I start calling the rabbit! Hey little Lopster! Hey little Lopster! I know it's lame but it was instinct. Damn if he didn't stop running and sit there looking at me!

I called my husband who was as stunned as I was. At breakfast I was still envisioning the bunny bounding across the yard at breakneck speed and shaking my head in amazement. So there you have it, I take it back, designer bunnies still have enough wild in them to survive at least two nights evading predators and people!

Be safe like a bunny!