May 2008 Media Round-up

Because of the stunning success of the movie "Iron Man," Marvel Studios announced that it will release "Iron Man 2" on April 30, 2010. More surprisingly, the bootleg copies of "Iron Man 2" are already out in China.

During an interview on Oprah Winfrey's show, Barbara Walter admitted to having an affair with a married man, and Oprah admitted the same. Then they each congratulated one another for not being a mistress, because a mistress as a woman who is "taken care of" by the married man she is sleeping with. So I guess that just makes them "sluts."

According to a new study, product placements during primetime TV rose 39% in 2008, with nearly 118,000 brand occurrences on cable and broadcast networks. This study was brought to you by Pan-Am airlines and Serutan laxative, Serutan; that's "natures" spelled backward.

In an effort to help raise environmental concerns rocker Tommy Lee of Motley Crue, rapper Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, and Johnny Colt, the bassist for the pop group Train, have been making the talk-show circuiting explaining how they plan to be more "green" and reduce their "carbon footprint" by switching to air guitars, which use less electricity.

HBO premiered its latest movie, "Recount," about the 2000 presidential election. It got rave reviews from liberal members of the press like Joe Klein, Matt Cooper, Jonathan Alter, Tina Brown, George Stephanopoulos, and Judy Woodruff. Their one complaint? No matter how many times they watched the movie, it always ends the same way.

In late night news, it was announced that comedian Jimmy Fallon will be taking over NBC's "Late Night" after Conan O'Brian leaves. Fallon said that he would give up his movie career to do the talk show. Whereupon America asked, "What movie career?"

Things are so bad for television networks that they are now cutting reality show budgets, which are already considered the cheapest shows to make. Producers are being urged to shoot shows faster and use indoor settings to help reduce expenses. So look for news shows like "The Biggest Shut-in" and "Who Wants to be an Agoraphobic?"

We've seen the return of Rambo, Rocky, John McClane in Die Hard, and Indiana Jones and now comes the news that Eddie Murphy is returning as Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop 4. So not only has Hollywood run out of ideas, it's run out of old ideas. That may be why my multiplex offers two popcorn toppings, butter and Geritol. Things are getting bad if the movie characters can get into the theater with a senior discount.

In a British online poll for the worst ideas of all time reality TV has finished second to the atom bomb. Second? Really? Only second place? Did you people not see "America's Prom Queen," or "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila?"

The first season of Israel's version of "Survivor" ended as a number one hit in the country. This is pretty amazing since getting voted off an island seems pretty tame compared to rocket attacks and suicide bombers.

Dina Lohan mom told TV Guide that her daughter, Lindsay, won't be appearing on her reality show, "Living Lohan", because doing reality TV would be a step backward for Lindsay's career. Plus it would be tough to fit it in her busy schedule of partying, rehab and car wrecks.

In an interview, film director Spike Lee complained about director Clint Eastwood's WWII films, "Flags of Our Fathers" and "Letters from Iwo Jima," because Eastwood didn't include any black GIs, despite the fact that the U.S. military was segregated at the time so there were no black combat units on Iwo Jima. Other movies Lee complained about the lack of blacks include "Doctor Zhivago," "Mary Poppins" and "The Good Earth." I guess they didn't cover history in film school. Really, Spike, it's one thing to re-write movies, but stop trying to re-write history. With Lee's ability for public gaffes and his poor grasp of facts, Obama's campaign should be asking him to join up any minute. This all proves once again, that it's so much easier to assume stuff then to look it up.

Actress Sharon Stone said that the devastating earthquake in China could have resulted from bad karma over the government's treatment of Tibet. This prompted a call to ban her films in China. This prompted us to wonder, "What Sharon Stone movies are playing in China?"

MTV announced its new slate of TV shows, which includes their "Juno" reality show "16 and Pregnant" I hope they don't show the audition tapes for that one. Apparently they're waiting until next year to premiere "Are you Sluttier than a 5^th Grader?" Oh, wait, it's a reality show. I thought it was the new situation-comedy starring Brittney Spear's sister. Lord knows what their stage mothers must be like.