Maybe a Big Balloon Would Have Helped -- Playing Tag in an Airport

Since we had a half-hour layover, I suggested we might want to freshen up a bit and get a cup of coffee and my then-new bride agreed. So, she went to the restroom and I scouted up the men's restroom

Without a car, I have the sense of direction of a dead squirrel, so I naturally found the men's room that was on the other side of the airport and away from my bride.

We had agreed to meet at a certain sign and I found one of those signs and waited and waited and I got a cup of coffee and waited and waited and I started to get worried: "Where was my bride? We had only five minutes to board!!"

So I began walking the concourse looking for a very tiny woman (my wife is still less than 5-feet-tall) and since I'm not the tallest man on earth (two inches shorter, in fact, due to back surgery), my chances of seeing my wife directly were about the same as those of a snowball in a fireplace.

Suddenly, I heard the call on the PA system: "Would Mac Stern of Boston report to Gate...!" It was repeated several times. Now you can see my name is easily not Mac, but I took a guess that it was me and I ran to the Gate, only to be told my wife was walking back up concourse looking for me.

By now we're down to about three minutes to boarding and looking like Larry and Moe of the "Three Stooges," when I heard the call again: "Would Mac Stern..." This time I knew it had to be me and being my my 20s, at the time, I loped to the right Gate, only to find a very vexed, tiny wife waiting for me. The last two hours of the trip were quiet, indeed. And, yes, they lost our luggage. (I think some of it's still traveling around the system and this trip was more than a few years ago!)

So, this is what we learned from our adventure: 1. Speak slowly if you have a "Boston" accent because the rest of the world can't understand it; 2. Better yet, right down what you want to say so it's all correct, and 3. If you're going to be apart during a layover, one of you should wear a bright helium-filled balloon with a long ribbon. It may look silly, but at least you'll find one another.

Finally, we learned to check our luggage after we packed up to go home because we ended up bringing some southern livestock back North with us. Fortunately, the bug didn't like the sub-32-degree weather and sort of froze when we opened the suitcase outside, just to be sure...(my wife's like that and I can't say I blame her!!!)

Oh, and always try to retain your sense of humor. It does wonders when you're panicking about your bride.