Maybe Santa Needs a Rocketship Rather Than a Sleigh?

According to a new report recently released by the AFP, if Santa were going to successfully make his rounds this Christmas Eve, he'd need to visit a staggering 2.5 billion homes. This figure assumes that all children, of all faiths and corners of the world... would be listed on Santa's "good list".

Although the projected size of Santa's sleigh wasn't provided, the volume of gifts would no doubt be staggering. The sheer volume of mass involved in delivering gifts to so many children, would undoubtedly create a real problem for the reindeer, who would have to pull the gift-filled sleigh an estimated 3,604 miles per second. Whew!

Furthermore, the report estimates that if Santa traveled against the Earth's rotation, leaving from Kyrgyzstan, rather than the North Pole... he'd have 48 hours to deliver gifts to children around the globe, leaving him with only 34 microseconds at each drop off point.

Maybe that's why no one sees the big guy? Consider the blur before your eyes in witnessing Kris Kringle drop down your chimney, place gifts under the tree, consume milk and cookies, and return to his reindeer in such a short amount of time. Would you even know what you'd just witnessed?

So, what about Santa leaving from the North Pole? The report claims that traveling that route would not permit Santa with the proper logistics to satisfy the trip requirements in time to deliver to children around the globe. Apparently leaving from the North Pole is a problem, so either Santa has been fooling us all these years, or he's recently relocated and not shared a forwarding address.

Another theory not posed by the news report concerns Santa's place of origin and questions whether or not he's truly from out of this world. The question simply stated is this... could Santa be an alien being from another galaxy? I pondered this possibility after recently viewing a variety of television specials on assumed alien aircraft that seem to travel as a light, whipping through space in the blink of an eye. The unidentified flying objects appear as lights dashing through the night skies in ways that defied all scientific understanding. Could it be? Is that where the flying reindeer really come from?

In any case, if you're planning on waiting up for some sign of Santa this Christmas Eve, be sure to stay clear of the fireplace, so you don't get trampled... and you might want to save the good china for grandma rather than Santa. We wouldn't want his lightening speed methods anywhere near anything fragile or of personal or monetary value. Then again, with so many years of experience under his belly-filled belt, maybe he's just that good.