McDonalds: Thanks for Poisoning Our Children

McDonald's has announced a recall of its recent promotional item, the Shrek IV collectors' glasses. The glasses bear the images of characters from the recent Shrek movie. The paint in the glasses contained a poisonous heavy metal, cadmium, which is usually reserved for Walt Disney jewelry.

Cadmium is a known carcinogen, and can cause bone softening and kidney problems.

The recall came after US Representative Jackie Speier, (California Democrat) received an anonymous tip that the paint on the glass contains the poison. Speier's office forwarded the tip to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, who started an investigation. McDonald's voluntarily recalled the tainted glasses.

McDonalds expressed their belief that the glassware was safe, but that they were recalling them "out of an abundance of caution."

Yeah, right. Abundance of caution. McDonalds orders twelve million cheapie glasses from a company over whom they exert no quality control. They put your child's favorite cartoon characters on them-characters from the latest blockbuster movie-to ensure that they can distribute as many as possible. They prod our children to "collect them all" so that we get not one, not two, but four poisonous glasses in our home. They put about seven million of these glasses into the public's hands. When the CPSC starts an investigation, they voluntarily issue a recall. In essence, they're saying, "Parents: wrestle those glasses out of your childrens' hands and bring them back in. There's really nothing wrong with them, but we feel like we should ask for them back. Although it's probably safe for your kids to keep them..." Yeah. That's an abundance of caution.

An abundance of caution would be to use some of those high-visability Saturday morning commercial spots to explain the recall, and to apologize for poisoning our children's drinkware. An abundance of caution would be to manufacture some safe glasses to replace the ones you are taking away from our children.

Here's another thing that bothers me. This whole deal was a cross-promotion. Shrek IV wins because the world's biggest restaurant chain is promoting its movie from coast to coast. McDonald's wins because they are using highly popular cartoon characters to promote their food-and to bring in repeat customers who want to collect the glasses. Both parties are getting something out of the deal. So why do I still have to pay 2 bucks for the crappy glass? (On top of what I pay for the crappy food?)

Another disturbing element of this story is that these glasses were made right here in the United States. That's right. America is beginning to suck so much, that poisoning our children is no longer outsourced to China.

I'm sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. We'll be on the lookout for arsenic bunnies or lead-based butterflies. Thanks for the abundance of caution, Mickey D.