ME 'N' ELVIS in the FRENCH QUARTER

A lot of people don't know this but me and Elvis are tight. I know a lot of you folks believe that Elvis has left the building so to speak but friends that is exactly what he wants you to think. And after all can you blame him? That poor boy done all he could to make pretty music for you all and then what happened? You all turned your backs on him and started chasin' after them long haired sissy looking Beatles. Now is that any way to treat a true son of the south? But that's not what this here story's all about pilgrim. Naw, this here's a story about how Me and Elvis took a little road trip down to New Orleans to get us some gumbo and such.

I ain't saying what year it was. Hell it could have been yesterday for all you're gonna' know. But I will tell you this, the boy looked good. Just like he does now. We're not talking about fat bloated pill poppin sequined suit fried peanut butter and banana sandwich eatin' Las Vegas towards the "end" Elvis neither. No siree, we're talkin' more like sleek karate choppin' black leather jumpsuit wearin' long side burned one side of the upper lip snarled hunka hunka burnin' love Elvis. we might also be talkin' about a little bit a lickered up Elvis too as me and he definitely put away a few on that long sojourn we made to hurricane land. Nobody even gave us no never mind when we left Tupelo where we'd been holin' up. Since everybody thought Elvis was busy playin' at his new nightspot in the clouds they just figgered it was just another Elvi impersonator come to pay tribute. So we was able to roll on outta town nice and easy like.

We was travelin' lite since there wun't no need for suitcases. We was only goin' for an extended lunch so to speak. We did however have us quite a few bottles of Ole Uncle Rolling Thunder's Kickapoo Joy Juice stowed away in the trunk in case we got thirsty or lonely or any other excuse we could come up with. We had us a time on that drive let me tell you. Hell we sang every danged Elvis song at the top of our lungs all the way down 'ta highway. The futher we got the drunker we got too. It was real weird whenever we'd pull into a truck stop or a gas station and all the folks would gather round askin' for his autograph even though they was all thinkin' they was getting the autograph of somebody who was pretending to be Elvis and not the real thing. And you know, that boy he didn't care one way or t'other. Twas all the same to him. Anyway we rolled into New Orleans right around midnight and made our way down to the French Quarter where Elvis said he knew a place that made the best gumbo of anywheres. Was just a couple doors down from Tippitina's, around back in a alley and up a couple flights a stairs. I remember thinkin' Damn, Elvis this gotta be some purty good gumbo If'n yer gonna' put this much effort inta getting' ya' some! Elvis just looked at me kinda funny, slapped me on the back and said "C'mon Bubba, (I don't know why but he always called me that when we was drunk), Les' go up heah and I'll innaduce ya ta ma fren Manney. That's how Elvis talked especially after all them bottles a Rollin Thunder. Hell I wasn't too far behind him neither.

Well we kept on a climbin' and a climbin' what seemed like forever and purty soon we could hear what sounded like Professor Longhair playin' piano up on the top floor. We follered the music til we came to a set of swinging saloon doors and pushed our way inside. As soon as we entered I had to rub my eyes as if I was seeing thing. You see the place was packed and I mean it was wall to wall. The only problem was they was all skeletons and they was all havin one hell of a time drinkin singin and carryin on. I watched as one skeleton hefted a schooner of beer and drank. The beer just went right on through him and splashed out onto the floor. I looked over at Elvis and he was a skeleton too. Anyway as I was sayin' I rubbed my eyes and I shook my head a few times and when I looked again everybody was whole. Only this time when I looked there indeed was Professor Longhair on stage playin' the piano. And all about the room was all kinds of famous musicians that I had previously thought were all dead and gone. There was Stevie Ray Vaughn talkin' to Jimi Hendrix and Janice Joplin makin' out with Jim Morrison in a corner. I saw Buddy Holly playin craps with James Brown and Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson shootin pool with Richie Valens. 'Bout that time Elvis grabbed me by the arm and said "Hey Bubba, there's my buddy Manney over there. Let's see if he can rustle up summa that gumbo I'uz tellin ya' 'bout".

Well sir, Elvis called out to Manney and he come over ta where we was standin' and asked "What can I get you gents? Elvis said like this here "Manney, we come all a way fum Memphis son ta get some a ya whorl famous chili beans". It was at about that time that evabody got real quiet. Hell, ya could a heard a pin drop. Manney, he just raised one eyebrow, looked at Elvis and said "Now Elvis you know we ain't got but one thang on the menu and that's my world famous gumbo. Now if you're wantin' some of my world famous chili we're gonna have to make other arrangements". About that time ole Elvis started laughin' and he reached out and slapped Manney on the back and said "I knew that'd get a rise outta ya boy. I'm just a funnin' ya. Set us up with a round a yer best". Well, he did and I'm here to tell ya it was the best durned gumbo I eva had. In fact I wisht I had me a bowl a that gumbo right now as I'm getting' a little hungry just thinkin' about it.

When we was done Elvis tossed me the keys to his Caddilac and said "Boy, I'm gonna stick around here for a bit and visit with some of my old friends. You take the car and I'll find my own way back to Memphis when I get ready". I said my goodbyes to everybody and made my way out to the car and started drivin' on home. I must confess, a lot of the trip was somewhat of a blur, (I polished off the rest of Ole Unc's Rollin' Thunder), and to tell ya the truth I don't even 'member when I got home. Alls I know is tha next mornin' I had me one god awful hangover and I wasn't sure if I dreamed ever thang or not. When I finally got up and looked out the window there was Elvis's Cadillac a settin' in the driveway. I ain't seen Elvis since that night but I do believe he's just about due ta show up back here in Memphis just about any time now.