Me for President

Don't laugh; a bunch of people I have never heard of and a few others who would do better to stay home are candidates for the office of president of the United States. Some of the bums are doing well, others are crashing and a few good and honest men have already withdrawn.
I want to be president because it looks like any idiot can. Sometimes it takes world class lies, a four hundred haircut, the appearance of a few tears at exactly the right moment, swapping a nation's resources in return for its votes, or the easy task of slipping past the scrutiny of people who haven't, at least until this year paid much attention anyway. After the last couple of decades, you gotta wonder.
If I am successful, I would be allowed to eat really great food in the comfortable company of other crooks, figure out ways to rip off crooked lobbyist, and cheat at card games; that would be nice;
Knowing that only far more honorable folks like Gandhi, who served as a nations conscious, Lincoln, who held the strength of a union together, and Rev King who provided a political alternative to the anger and frustration of the Black Panthers were the only ones who get shot, I would not have to worry. But, I would definitely insist on the need to ride around in a comfortable, bullet proof limousine, claim the right to be allowed to sleep in a well protected, bomb proof, big white house rent free and fly around protected by a squadron or two of stealth bombers without worrying about air miles.
Avoiding getting me hung would, of course, be another consideration. .
How I'm going to win is not a serious concern. Its might be easier than once thought. Welling up with something close to self pity to win votes apparently help. One candidate who earned a fortune chasing ambulances and lives in exquisite comfort is now seeking to change his address to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Each candidate has done something to garnered large contributions. The gentleman from New Mexico who many say is one of the more qualified candidates recently dropped out, perhaps because he lacked the resources. My problem is that there are good candidates on each side of the political spectrum who are battling it out with bums who have little to offer other than empty promises With some appealing to ignorance and superstition while others appeal to a calm and clear intelligence, it is not a surprise to see how close the contest has become. The possibility that at east half of the country needs to increase or decrease their Prozac is becoming more probable.
We may forget about the reality of a brutal war going on, the recession due to the greed of the financial world, the failure of the insurance and health care system that have focused on it's profit margins more then the need to provide care for those who so desperately seek it; but to do so is to do it at our peril.
Lets face it; the stuff that has been allowed to take place since before hurricane Katrina is a sin against the gods, the willingness to allow lawyers to construct a criminal justice system that is truly criminal to continue is a crime; we have failed to challenge universities that could do more to provide the sense of self esteem and confidence that a valid and challenging educational experience provides. Too many of our kids are now turning to the more affordable prospect of going "on line" for a weekend to get a less challenging diploma that simply robs the student and strips away the richness of the more traditional educational experience.
My strategy would of course be even sleazier then offering a chicken in every pot with out the need to at least first feed the chickens and clean out the hen house. A million dollar monument to attribute honor to all the folks who engaged in one of the larger drug and booze taking events that took place at Woodstock in upper New York is attractive to one candidate from New York, but senseless to another from Arizona, The willingness of a major newspaper to attempt to dishonor the name of an honorable army officer in Iraq who has demonstrated an ability and a courage that so many others lack is nothing more than a travesty. I spit in their presses, but if sleaziness works, I would simply tell more and even larger lies and make more empty promises if this is the kind of thing that wins elections.. That is, after all what made the United States what it is today.
Others who have the audacity to claim the title of "comeback kids" are merely amateurs of the worst kind who would do well to take another look in the mirror. My concern as a candidate is the original comeback kid, a different kind of candidate from Arizona who come from a family that had no more to offer in the beginning than the honor, pride, and dignity they were capable of and step forward to serve this country we and they love. This gentleman is now fully grown to manhood and claims the resume of a naval officer, an aviator who started out with comparatively little money but the audacity to hope and the pride and dignity to go with it. When he demonstrates the ability to talk the talk, folks listen; and when he walks the walk, you can bet your aces folks can hear them clink.
His first come back occurred when he survived the demands of the United States Naval Academy with a gentlemen's C grade point average and joined the ranks of naval aviators with the mental will, physical courage and skill to take off and land on something that from a great height looks like a tombstone;
This is a guy, who was in the middle of explosions that almost sank the aircraft carrier he was aboard. As a combat pilot, he found himself shot down after numerous combat missions and somehow prevailed over the sever injuries and the years in a prisoner of war camp that followed. Each is suggested as another comeback. A twenty year career in a blood sport known as politics beginning as a congressman and going on to serve as a senator provides another example. His latest come back occurred when, after a disastrous beginning that started under a warm summer sun, he went on to win the New Hampshire Primary that took place in the cold of a freezing winter. When he came back from Iraq insisting on having "more boots on the ground" and asking the American people to allow a respected army officer to go about his difficult and dangerous job, the picture of himself as a maverick who stood in thin ranks was completed; but, because of the political courage of this guy our military is now known as the comeback army who after only asking that they be allowed to win are, with Mr. McClain's help, provided with the opportunity. Johnny McClain is one of the rare few who stands firmly on the firmest ground he can find, states his values, clings tenaciously to his beliefs, and stands ready to confront in an open and honest way any who might challenge him, He has accomplished much with his honor intact. I can only wonder about the kind of political courage these acts require. These truths are unshakeable, and we would do well to search out more of his breed but don't tell anyone while I dare to run for this high office.
Another concern is the black man with the clear eyes and big ears from Chicago who possesses a special kind of eloquence. He is said to have done so much good on the south side as an organizer and a senator, that he has earned the endorsement of a very large labor unions in far off places. This gentleman has demonstrated academic excellence at a university noted for it high academic standards, but is said by those who know was dumb enough to have married a beautiful lady who is described as an intellectual equal. Many suggest the man would do well to talk less and listen more; Everyone in this mans political organization is reminding him that politics is a blood sport, and that the one with the sharpest knife is his main rival. If this rival has again found a voice, we can expect the cries of a giant right wing conspiracy to once again ring throughout our land. If history repeats itself, that call will be accompanied by the complaint of the failure of close friends to step forward in the defense of this candidates past ideas and behaviors that are, in essence, indefensible. We may also be witness to a few tears.
If the good people of this country continue with the same poor judgment they have demonstrated in the past, I may win. If the other side selects a candidate as dumb as they did last time I will surly win, If so, I can promise you that my first job would be to turn the reins of power over to those who have demonstrated the courage and ability to challenge the foolishness of earlier politicians and provide those men with the companionship and support of their peers.
Men like the black kid from the south side of Chicago who has stirred the emotions of a nation, the Israeli from Connecticut who demonstrated the courage to challenge the abuses and power of a sitting president, the Spanish gentleman from the plains and plateaus of New Mexico with the more complete and much envied resume, and of course the original comeback kid from the valleys and mountains of Arizona come to mind.
Can anyone dare to doubt the courage and butt kicking the United States would be capable of with this kind of leadership? The hard work that, when preformed properly and with the support of good and trusted friends, always results in the development of a pride, self-confidence, and dignity that follows. The" audacity to hope, and the hard work required for change" is not for the meek or the mild, it is, instead, something the American people deserve a shot at. Vote for me for president my fellow Americans and do it more than once.