Mean Girls: Are You Raising a Female Bully?

Girl bullying is on the rise, some think this is because of an increase in violent female characters in film and television, however, others think that it is because girls are finally being given the opportunity to achieve status and power autonomously from their male counterparts. This ability to achieve autonomous power and status means that girls now have the opportunity to use their position of power to intimidate those in lower social positions. This is where girl initiated bullying comes from. The sad thing is that between 17 and 20 percent of students between the grades of four and ten have either been bullied or have bullied others. This is a trend that needs to be curtailed. Fortunately, there are several things that parents can do to deal with a daughter who is a bully.

Tip #1 - Be a Positive Role Model

Children learn social behaviors from their parents. If you utilize emotional violence or physical violence in order to get your way or to dominate your subordinates then this is the behavior that your daughter is going to use to achieve the same outcome. You need to demonstrate that a position of power is one that comes with many responsibilities, and one of those responsibilities is helping those with less power.

Tip #2 - Teach Her the Difference Between Aggression and Assertiveness

One of the best lessons that you can teach your daughter is the difference between aggression and assertiveness. Aggression is a violent and anti-social method of using power in order to get something that you want. Assertiveness is using logic and pro-social behaviors to achieve your goals. Your daughter needs to be assertive to get ahead, but she shouldn't be aggressive.

Tip #3 - Enhance Her Social Awareness

It is difficult for young children and teens to really understand how much their behaviors impact those around them. This is why bullying is so prevalent among these groups. A great way to curtail female bullying is to help them realize that what they are doing is causing someone else pain.

Tip #4 - Expose Them to Diversity

Another cause of girl bullying is that the bully simply has not been exposed to people with characteristics of backgrounds that are different from theirs. A good way to correct this problem is to expose your daughter to diversity. This can be done by volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, by watching documentaries on people who are dealing with different issues and by spending time with people with unique characteristics.

Tip #5 - Utilize a Mentoring Program

Another great way to help correct girl bullying behaviors is to pair your daughter with a positive role model or mentor. Mentorship programs are usually offered by high schools, universities and Boys and Girls Clubs.

Tip #6 - Address Problems Early

The best way to prevent girl bullying from becoming a life long habit is to correct the problem behaviors when it first is exhibited. This may mean dealing with bullying behaviors in preschool.

Tip #7 - Monitor Her Web Activity

One of the latest trends is online bullying, especially between girls. This is just another reason to monitor your kids' and teens' online activity.

Tip #8 - Get a Counselor Involved

If you don't think you can handle the problem yourself, or if your daughter seems to be having a hard time opening up to you then use a professional counselor. They will be able to talk to your daughter and help figure out why she is bullying in the first place. It may be that she has some needs that are not being met or she may have had a bad experience that has caused her to be aggressive, as opposed to assertive.

References

http://managing-youth-workers.suite101.com/article.cfm/preventing_relational_aggression

http://www.education.com/magazine/article/what-to-do-if-your-daughter-is-bullied/

http://www.ihatebullies.net/girl-bullying-%E2%80%93-a-strengthening-trend.html

http://www.montville.net/cedarhill/cedarhill/resources.asp?CategoryID=564

http://www.outreach.psu.edu/programs/girl-bullies/agenda.html

http://www.slideshare.net/JuicyUniverse.com/prevent-bullying-at-school

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/mean-girls-why-girls-bully-and-how-to-stop-them