Mean Girls: Ways to Prevent Your Daughter from Becoming One of Them

As women, we know the truth: girls are catty and mean, especially behind each other's backs. While men are upfront and out in the open about their disagreements with each other, women tend to gossip. A man would be more likely to lose his temper quickly with someone and punch them in the face, then make up a few hours later and forget the matter entirely. Women are more likely to hold a grudge and destroy one another with words.

If you have a daughter or daughters, you will want to do all you can to prevent them from becoming one of the "mean girls". The "mean girls" may be the most popular ones, but they cause a huge amount of hurt to the objects of their petty meanness. Some girls are scarred for life by things that were said to them in elementary school. As parents it is our job to keep this pattern from perpetuating itself. Here are a few tips to stop the meanness:

1. Be a good role model yourself. Resist the temptation to talk about a friend or relative behind their back in a less than positive way. Even when you pick up the phone, think about whether what you are saying is building someone up or tearing them down. Chances are your daughters are listening and watching, and they will become like you.

2. Speak kind words as a family. If you and your husband are constantly screaming and yelling at each other or your children, this is bound to affect them. It is possible to discipline your children calmly, without shouting. Make it a family goal to compliment each other throughout the day.

3. Teach kindness to all, no matter what race or background they may be from. If you look down or discriminate on certain people, so will your children. Instead, show them how to perform acts of service. Spend a day helping out in a homeless shelter or passing out Thanksgiving baskets. Donate toys at Christmas time. Teach your children that because they may have more or dress better than other children, it does not make them better than someone. Teach them that it is the inside that counts.

4. Teach your children to think before they speak. Tell them to ask themselves: "Is what I am about to say true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?" If something doesn't meet all three criteria, it probably does not need to be said. Also, if you hear your child degrading another child to a friend, step in and point out that what they are saying is unkind.

It will probably never be totally impossible to eliminate meanness, unfortunately. All you need these days is an internet message board or chat room and the "mean girl" attitudes still surface. But, remember, you can be the first to make a difference-for yourself and your daughters.