Meaning of Sexual Body Language Explained

Sexual body language and sexual attraction is absolutely fascinating. The fact that a person or animal gives off subconscious clues to whom they are attracted to is amazing. Even though sexual attraction is not necessarily imperative to procreation and the furthering of the human race it doesn't hurt when it does occur. The fact that humans have been practicing non verbal communication since the beginning of time just makes it that much more interesting.

Body language differs from country to country or tribe to tribe but one fact is universal, everyone uses it to communicate rather they realize it or not. Everyone in the world can recognize basic body language. An easy upward slope of the lip represents a smile or in other words happiness/acceptance. That same pair of lips pulled downward indicates sadness with a frown. These signs are easy deciphered even by an infant but when it comes to sexual body language things tend to become a bit more difficult to understand.

According to Nancy Fagan in a conversation with two people 93% of what is being said is nonverbal. That means that only 7% of the conversation is actually language. 23% of that 93% is actual tone and inflection of the voice which gives a total of 70% for the actual body language or gestures.

There are obviously many body language signs that indicate attraction but there are also some physiological signs as well. An increase in heart rate and perspiration would be an example of this. Usually the only person to recognize these two signs is the person experiencing them. Two other universal physiological signs of attraction (that can be noticed by other people) are that of the "eyebrow dart" and pupil dilatation. When someone is attracted to another person upon seeing that person their eyebrows will raise for a split second. This is also referred to as someone's "face lighting up". The eyebrow dart also occurs within friendships. Dilatation of the pupil is another physiological sign of attraction is. When a person sees someone or something they like/are attracted to their pupils will become larger (this is why poker players wear sunglasses). Although these two signs can be noticed by other individuals they all too often are not. That means that humans must rely on other forms of nonverbal communication to convey sexual attraction.

Female and male sexual body language differs. Women's body language is used to attract or reject a male. While a man's body language is often used to get the female to succumb to his desires. After all, biologically speaking, women are looking for a man who will provide her with the healthiest/strongest offspring. She is looking for a man who can provide for her families survival and protect them. A man is looking to spread his seed. Because women have more of an investment or repercussion from having sex (pregnancy, raising a child) she is often more "choosy" than a male.

According to Larry Rodrigues at learnbodylanguage.com "Women often send five times more body language messages and gestures than men in the same time period" (Rodrigues). But men and women send many of the same signals to show that they are attracted to another person. For example both sexes preen. Women will often do what is known as the "hair flip". She will run her hands through her hair to give a clear view of her face and shoulders. Men also preen. They will run their hands through their hair and pick imaginary lint off of their clothes. While women tend to lick their lips or draw attention to their mouths (many believe that when it comes to courtship the lips have a strong correlation with female genitalia and is why men like red lipstick) men are known to pull at their socks when they are attracted to a woman.

A man wants to look like an "alpha male" to attract a female. He will often stand as tall as possible and pull in his abdomen and flex his chest muscles to appear larger and stronger (thus giving him the inverted V shape that women instinctually find attractive. He will often sit with his legs far apart and his pelvis slightly tilted forward (referred to as a crotch display. Men use this to show to imply that they are fertile). A man will also take up as much territory as possible. That is he will spread out and take up as much room as he can. He does this not only to look as though he is an alpha male with a lot of "real estate" but to frighten and intimidate other males. Even in a business situation the dominate male always takes up/is allotted the most space.

For the most part while women are attracted to alpha males men are attracted to women who are healthy and with in child bearing age. So women will often try to make themselves appear smaller, cuter, and younger. They accomplish this by employing the shoulder shrug that is they raise and lower the shoulders to look "cute". They will often stand or sit with their toes pointing at one another as well. They will pull their body in tight (to make themselves look smaller) and cross their legs (this has the added benefit of making the musculature of their leg look bigger which in turn makes them look healthier and more appealing to males).

There are also telling signs when a couple is mutually attracted to one another. Besides witnessing all of the body language described above there are a few others signs. Interestingly, when a couple is attracted to each other they will point their torsos at one another. Even if they are looking in other directions, talking and interacting with other people, their belly buttons will still be pointed at one another. Their feet will also be pointed in one another's direction. An intimate couple will also start to mirror one another's actions. For example one person will take a sip of their drink and the other will quickly follow suit.

Sexual body language varies in different countries. In the Western world eye contact is an important indicator of sexual attraction. While people who are friends or who are not attracted to one another will usually give no thought to where they are looking, they will often just look back and forth from eye to eye or at the entire face in general. People who are attracted to one another will implore what is known as the intimate gaze. That is they will look at one another for a longer period of time than is usually deemed polite. In Asia and most of Africa the intimate gaze is always impolite and often regarded as hostile. While a man in the United States might pull at his ear lobe in a preening manner in India this gesture simply means "I am sorry". While making a kissing noise can be a sign of attraction (usually what is known as a cat call and highly offensive) in American it is the way one beckons a waiter in Mexico.

Sexual attraction, although not necessary for the furthering of the species, is still very important. One of the main goals of human beings is to find love and have a family. It is bred into a person's genes to try and attract a mate that they themselves find attractive. They use the same tool, or body language, as their ancestors used. The importance of body language is best summed up by David Givens, Phd. "For the past 500 million years, every member of the animal kingdom has utilized certain signals to communicate their interest in mating. These boil down to the message. I am harmless, I won't bite"