Mecha Pope Threatens Vatican City

Agaric
(Vatican City) To the terror of Catholics worldwide, the infamous Mecha Pope descended from the skies over Vatican City yesterday and issued a challenge to Pope Benedict XVI.

The sixteen-foot tall bipedal armed robot delivered a challenge of combat to the recently elected Pope Benedict. In a sinister electronic voice that reverberated around the marble façade of the Vatican Palace, Mecha Pope stated it would return in five days time. After that time, Benedict would have the opportunity to duel the robot in order to preserve Vatican City. If Benedict fails, then Mecha Pope has threatened to destroy the city and all its inhabitants. After delivering the message, the robot took flight and disappeared to an unknown location, leaving throngs of fear-swept Catholics in its wake.

This is the first time Mecha Pope has made an appearance on earth since Pope Pious V's encounter with the robot monstrosity in 1571. Documents chronicle the late Pope's epic struggle with the automaton which resulted in Pious' victory. In a twist of luck and poor engineering, a recently constructed marble balcony fell on Mecha Pope during the course of the match and crushed its power supply.

This Mecha Pope is considerably more advanced than the one Pious faced over four centuries ago. The robotic Pope possesses the strength of scores of men, and can peel open metal tanks and armored vehicles like stubborn electronics packaging. Furthermore, Mecha Pope can see in the dark, fly over great distances, and melt diamond with its particle projection cannon.

Preparations have been made for Benedict's crash course training in several styles of martial arts and weapons operation. The 79 year old leader of the Catholic faith is reported to have made great strides in Drunken Boxing and Jujitsu in just two days time.

When asked about his thoughts on the upcoming battle, Benedict replied "that heathen got nothin' on me. The power of Christ is in my veins!" Benedict then proceeded to remove his training robe and spar with a cardinal in the newly constructed Vatican gymnasium.

With a mere three days till the night of the battle, tensions worldwide have run high.

Published by Agaric

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  • Joanna Lopez1/9/2007

    Great job! I love Mecha Pope and I love the end with the Pope sparing with a Cardinal in the vatican's new gymnasium. Funny stuff!! By the way I love your disclaimer by your picture about your work. Bye

  • Daniel Doyle1/7/2007

    GREAT!! No matter who ya are, you have to admit that is some funny ...ahem, 'stuff'. Before the 9/11 thing I used to love the funny stuff like this. Ever read the Hitch Hiker's guide to the Galaxy? The book is WAAAAY better than the recent movie...if you have not, may I suggest that you put it on your reading list?

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