Mediating a Divorce: The Dynamics & What to Expect

Going through a divorce is an emotional time, especially when considering you and your spouse may be arguing and debating over everything, right down to the set of matching recliners. For many couples, paying the cost of high attorney fees seems second nature to the divorce proceedings. However, in some cases, mediating your divorce may be the smarter option rather than paying attorney fee after fee without achieving any results.

So, what can you expect from mediation proceedings? In many cases, your divorce will not be resolved with the first mediated session. However, the first mediation meeting will be the meeting that set the foundation for ultimately achieving your goal; getting divorced.

In the first session of the divorce mediation, the divorce mediator will commonly restate the previously stated goals of each party. As primarily an information gathering session, the mediator may ask for clarification on issues pertaining to your property, assets and even children.

Following an overview of your divorce issues and goals, the divorce mediator will then proceed to explain some of the basic laws as they pertain to your divorce and the jurisdiction in which you reside. The divorce mediator will commonly take the time to explain how divorce can be achieved and what issues and concerns can, and can not, be accommodated under the state's family law provisions.

As with the first mediation sessions, and all subsequent mediation sessions, the mediator will serve as a guide to assist both couples with staying on track, working towards an opportunity to reach satisfactory goals while considering the options of both parties involved.

This is certainly not saying that mediation will not be an emotional experience. For many couples, emotions run extremely high during mediation, especially when the couple may be forced to sit in front of each other and discuss issues directly and without the assistance of their attorneys. Remember to follow the lead of the mediator and to really focus on keep your emotions under control, as best as possible.

While you may feel your first divorce mediation session is not productive, do not fret. In many states, the first divorce mediation will end with the divorce mediator filing the initial proceedings paperwork with the courthouse, ultimately beginning the time clock for your divorce finality.

As with any change in lifestyle, whether by marriage or divorce, the issues facing many couples involves not only the financial aspect but also the emotions. When facing significant obstacles in a divorce, consider using a divorce mediator in an effort to contain legal costs and to more efficiency end your marriage so that you, and your spouse, can move on to the next chapter of your lives.