Meditation for Bringing Harmony Back into Our Intimate Relationships

We've all experienced how careless or insulting words exchanged between partners can hurt. There are many reasons why intimate partners will disrespect each other in this way. Sometimes one wants to use shame or fear to control the other. Or maybe they've both just begun to take each other for granted, and have lost touch with the tender feelings that they carried into the relationship in the first place.

What we don't so often notice is how unspoken thoughts can be just as destructive in a relationship. We send so many subtle signals to our partners with our thoughts, even aside from such obvious expressions as body language and tone of voice. What's more, a negative frame of mind influences our expectations. We enter into interactions with our partners anticipating the worst from them - and this is often what we end up seeing reflected back.

Once we've become mired in disappointments, resentments and anger, it's very difficult to break the cycle of negativity because our emotions are always reinforcing the thoughts. We can hardly expect our partners to put their best faces forward, either, when they're constantly feeling this projected antagonism from us. Our only option, then, is to change our original thoughts. No matter how justified we may feel with our frustrations, we have to find a way to paint new pictures in our minds.

There is a simple meditation that can help us to do this, which requires only a quiet space and a small block of uninterrupted time. During this period, we consciously set aside our negative thoughts and feelings about the situation and focus on our heart's desire instead. We visualize our partners with loving regard, and also see them expressing kindness, respect and tenderness towards us. We imagine our relationship being harmonious and joyful. Any images that we can draw upon to help reinforce this picture will be helpful. We should even allow ourselves to experience whatever emotions arise, just as if the events we're imagining were actually happening in the moment.

Even five or ten minutes devoted to this, each day, can reap significant results. This meditation affects the quality of our relationship on many levels. We are reminded of what we love and admire in our partners, and train our minds to notice these traits more and more in our interactions. Also, our partners may pick up on the loving regard we are projecting their way and respond in kind. Finally, because the power of our imaginations can help to alter the picture of our expectations, we can approach the time spent with our intimate partners with open minds and hearts again. This creates an opportunity for true and lasting change to occur.