Meet Your Nine Basic Needs (and Be a Better Mom)

What Every Mom Needs (Zondervan, 1995), written by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall, is a must-read for moms of all ages! Morgan and Kuykendall are officers in the Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) organization. They share their perspective, sense of humor, empathy and advice with a laid-back tone and a definite sense that they've been in the trenches with us!

The Sub-title of the book is Meet Your Nine Basic Needs (and be a Better Mom). These two seasoned moms remind us in the introduction that moms, like everyone else, have needs. Further, moms must learn to recognize and meet their own needs in order to better meet the needs of their children. Neither of these two statements is profound, in and of themselves. But all too often, moms get so caught up in the business of mothering that we forget about taking care of ourselves.

The nine needs Morgan and Kykendall have identified are: significance, identity, growth, intimacy, instruction, help, recreation, perspective and hope. Taken in total, it seems like an unachievable goal to have all these needs met on a regular basis. These ladies break down each one of these needs into easy to understand concepts, and provide examples of how to achieve each goal goals.

Each need is addressed in a separate chapter, in an easy to follow format. The authors introduce the problem-one of the needs to be met. Then they give examples of situations where moms typically don't have that need met, and all the reasons we end up not having it met: it's easier to do it ourselves or the kids or our husband won't do it right, etc. After the discussion of how we sabotage ourselves, Morgan and Kykendall offer practical, step by step ways to tell others what our needs are and how they can help us in our quest to have them met.

Finally, each chapter provides "Building Blocks." The building blocks are exercises, questions and practical tips that expand on ways to be sure our needs are met. For example, in the chapter on getting help, the building blocks include (1) work at networking; (2) find quality child care; (3) train the kids to help out; (4) ask your husband to help; (5) find a support group; (6) find a counselor, if necessary. Each of these helpful suggestions is backed up with details of how to accomplish the task, as well as lists of resources.

Whether you're a new mom or have been parenting for many years, this book will offer support, encouragement and advice that you can use today.

For information on the MOPS program, you can visit their website, http://www.MOPS.org.