Meeting Friends Online

I look at the relationships in my life and I realize that most of them have been formed online in some way or another. My best friend is a woman I met in a parenting group early in 2001.

Until I met Karen, nobody could have convinced me that I would have a long and lasting relationship with someone I had met online. I liked Karen instantly; she had humor, intelligence, common sense and knew when to speak out when something wasn't right. She didn't put on airs or pretend to be something she wasn't. It wasn't long before we were chatting via IM and exchanging phone numbers.

Karen lives in New York and I live in Michigan, our lives are very different. When Karen and I met, she was going through a divorce and I was dealing with my Grandfather's illness that would take him from me in a very short time. I discovered the day my grandfather passed and I posted a quick note to the group about his passing that there were people from all over the world cared enough to reach out. Karen was the first person to call and leave a message. "You know how to reach me if you need me." Was about all she said. I was having problems with a large part of my own family and for those that I wasn't having trouble with, they themselves were grieving. Karen and my husband got me through the following days. I had never been so grateful for the miracle of the internet as I was then. Since then Karen has been through every event in my life big or small. She sympathizes when my husband makes me mad; she is the person that introduced my daughter to a fashion statement that drives me crazy: toe socks. She was there in the middle of the day or middle of the night when my husband was deployed to Iraq and even made us welcome guests into her home during a short leave he had from Fort Dix. Karen and her sister still tell the stories of taking the two of us to New York City for the first time. I suppose taking two people from a town of less than three thousand into a busy NYC during the Christmas holiday was rather entertaining for the city sisters. Without the internet and someone from an online group, I would have missed some of the richest moments in the past several years of my life. When I speak of Karen, I don't speak of "my online friend", she is simply my friend. She is the person that is there for me anytime I need her and the person who will sit online and talk to me all night if that is what I need from her.

I have always been a realist and for years, I thought online relationships were simply nothing more than a way to have people to talk to without having to get close to them. Over the past few years, I have discovered that often the internet is a way to keep the people you love close and a way to open the entire world to anyone who is willing to reach out and take what is offered.

I don't suggest befriending everyone you meet online and I certainly don't recommend meeting someone you know only via chatrooms and email. If you are a single person and seeking someone for a romantic relationship be very wary as the good ones can be few and far between if you don't take your time to find out who is really on the other end of your IM. If someone is not willing to you give you any real contact information after a few weeks but still wants to meet, I would run in the opposite direction. There are wonderful people online but you must always remember there are also a large number of people who are there simply to play games and even some who are looking for potential victims. Online is a wonderful way to meet people but you must take the proper precautions before meeting with or giving out any personal information. Enjoy your online experience but do it with common sense.