Meeting His Parents for the First Time: Five Valuable Tips

When a man wants you to meet his parents, chances are he is interested in taking the relationship to a deeper level. There may even be a proposal in your near future. However, meeting your boyfriend's parents can also be a time of anxiety and trepidation. What should you say? Will they like you? What if they don't seem to like you? First, take a deep breath. Part of the reason your boyfriend is so wonderful is because of the parents who raised him. Also, keep in mind that your man's parents want him to be happy, and if you make him happy, chances are they are already coming into the situation with a positive view of you. Here are five tips that will help his parents love you for the wonderful person you are!

1. Dress The Part

When meeting his parents for the first time, you should dress like you are going to a job interview. In a way, you are. They are sizing you up to decide whether you are fit for the job of being their baby's woman. In other words, keep it classy. Don't try to be anyone you are not, because if you do wind up marrying him, they will be in for a shock when they find out you were fooling them. However, dress conservatively for your style. When in doubt, it is better to be a tad overdressed, than under-dressed.

2. Be Nice, But Not Too Nice

Again, the key here is balance. When meeting his parents, you will be tempted to be an Eddie Haskel. You know, sugary sweet overly nice, everything is perfect, you don't disagree with anything, and nothing phases you or gets you down. They are wonderful, their son is wonderful, you are delightful, as you all skip off through a field of flowers into the sunset.This may come across as insincere. It is okay to tell his mother that you don't care for red wine but thanks so much for the offer, or to tell his father that you voted for a candidate he didn't support. Otherwise, you will be pretending to like red wine and that you voted Republican for the next 30 years, should you stay together. The key is to be light and breezy. Self-assured, but not cocky, friendly but not fake.

3. Don't Gush About Their Son

This may seem counter-intuitive to what you believe you should do, but trust me, they already know their son is great. No need to go on and on about how wonderful their son is when meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time. It will come across as if you are trying too hard and it may embarrass them or even your boyfriend. It is perfectly okay though, to pepper some kind words into the conversation when applicable. For example, if your boyfriend's father pulls out your chair at dinner, remarking that now you see where your boyfriend learned the chivalry you appreciate so much in him is appropriate.

4. Avoid Marriage Talk

Even if his parents ask. Unless there is a ring on your finger, no one should be saving the date, planning the wedding, or talking about Mr. or Mrs. anything. This is where it is your responsibility to steer the conversation in your favor, and to showcase your tact and class to your boyfriend's parents. When meeting them for the first time, they may joke about "when's the wedding" or make remarks inquiring about your "plans" for each other. Simply say something like,

"I don't know about a wedding but I like/love your son very much and am very happy to be meeting the people who raised him so well." Then, smile and ask someone to pass the potatoes.

5. Win Over His Mother And You've Conquered The World

Let's get real. Your boyfriend's dad probably doesn't care either way. In most cases, you can smile and make small talk and as long as his son is happy and no one is asking him for anything, he is fine. It is your man's mother you have to win over when meeting his parents for the first time. Ask your boyfriend ahead of time to give you the skinny on what his mom likes to do, talk about, smell, or look at. In other words, if the woman hates the color purple, you may want to avoid dressing like Barney the dinosaur that night. If she loves a certain book, perhaps you could read it so you'd have something to discuss. Mothers just want their children, even adults children, to be happy in the end. If an appropriate moment presents itself, assure her that you care for her son and that you both feel good about the relationship.

Meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time can be a stressful occasion. Remember though, his parents may be nervous too, especially if your man hasn't brought too many women home to meet them. They may be wondering if you are going to like them, or whether their son will be embarrassed of them. Try to relax, be yourself, and have fun when meeting his parents.