Meeting New People The Easy Way

There comes a time in most people's lives when the old friends from high school and college just aren't there as much. Maybe you've grown apart or moved away. Maybe you've fallen into a rut of doing the same thing every week. Or maybe you've been an introvert (this is me) for most of your life and you'd like to make some changes. There are some easy and fun ways to put a pulse back into your social life, and maybe make some close friends or a life partner, too.

I'll start with useful sites online, since thats the easiest way to hook up with like minded types. Sometimes it can be too easy however, make sure you don't let virtual connections take the place of the 3-D kind.

The first and probably obvious place to go is MySpace, the inescapable social networking site. You can be as open or as anonymous as you like while you're getting to know people. Search for people in your city with the same interests and backgrounds. If you haven't already listed a profile you may as well do it now. My daughter's 50 year old teacher has one. Pretty soon not having one will be just like not having a cell phone - if you don't have one, how are people supposed to find you? But be careful and use common sense - don't use it to badmouth exes or your job.

I prefer Meetup.com just a bit more than MySpace. Being at the computer reminds me too much of my inbox and to-do list, and it's too easy to let potential friendships linger online. Check in here and do a search for meetups in your area. There are literally hundreds in most large cities and individual groups focusing on a wide range of topics. Find yourself a little reluctant to get out there? Do a search on shyness! Or book clubs or dodgeball (a little agression/adrenaline works wonders) or whatever else you want to try. Life's too short to be bored every weekend. Here you can also create a profile, add friends, and stay in touch by message board before you jump into a meet. Meeting people while engaged in an activity is great because you already know you have something in common and there's less pressure to flirt. Some groups recquire membership dues, but you can almost always drop in on a meet before you decide to join.

Another networking site is Zaadz, a kind of mix of Meetup and Myspace, but with a touchy-feely flavor to it. If you want to meet people with an interest in spirituality, self development, art, or activism this is site is worth a good look.

Craigslist has a category for people looking for activity partners and dates. Many of the ads seeking just companionship come off as being very real and honest. Craigslist ads are free and you can post pics if you like. If you don't have a lot of time to spend online filling out profiles consider this is a quick way to strike up a conversation. Beware of ads seeking encounters if you're a guy, as many turn out to be fronts sending you to something porn related after you respond (though if you don't mind, thats up to you - still not a great way to meet real people!)

Now for meeting people offline. A lot of advice you've heard before really works, but only if you get out there! My first bit of advice to friends is always to learn to go out alone. Go to a lecture or to hear some music, and don't wait to see a movie you really want to see. Go to a restaurant you've been wanting to try. Most people are too absorbed in their own insecurities to notice if you stroll in alone. If you want to be interesting to others, be interested! The more you engage yourself the better.

Speaking of engaging yourself, why not take a class? It could be at a gym or rec center, community college or one of those places that offer adult edcation for fun. Get out there and explore your interests in depth and you're sure to meet like-minded people. Or take up a cause and give of yourself. Volunteer somewhere that you feel strongly about, or somewhere that's fun. I became a volunteer at a nature center one year just to get free admission and met some great people along the way.

An old fallback for meeting people is going to church. Expand that idea and try out different spiritual centers. I've had friends who kept going to their church even after it stopped resonating with them purely because of the social network. I don't recommend that. Where you go for spiritual fellowship should be a reflection of you spiritually, and true friends will understand that. Many different faiths can be found in a large city, from conservative Christian to more liberal Unitarian and Unity churches, to Buddhist and Pagan centers that would welcome you.

Most of these methods involve getting interested and active in things other than dating. That cuts down on the pressure and makes getting out there much more enjoyable. Getting interested, getting out there, and learning about yourself also makes it easier to fill out a killer MySpace profile.